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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

An absolute tangle - just wanted to vent!

18 replies

pixkelsandwixh · 21/08/2022 20:46

A few years ago I met a man who I clicked with massively. I was in a relationship at the time and we worked together. Nothing happened and I stayed with my then partner.

Fast forward four years later and after an accidental pregnancy with someone new (who doesn’t want to be involved) I decided to carry on as I’m 36, and out of the blue this man pops up again. I’m 7 months pregnant. We started speaking largely about work and I presumed he was in a relationship as he suggested a networking lunch - very common in our industry. I agreed and thought little more of it than it would be nice to see him, however, this weekend he’s sent me many messages and photos of his weekend away and it’s now clear he sees this upcoming lunch as a date. If I had known this was what he meant initially I would have told him then that I was pregnant.

Obviously I need to tell him I’m pregnant. I feel so awkward about it and part of me has really enjoyed just chatting to him… this is going to make it stop though isn’t it … bit gutted and talk about rubbish timing!

OP posts:
Daisy4569 · 21/08/2022 20:56

I do think things will turn out how they are meant to be. You don’t know how he will react. Are you sure he doesn’t already know via mutual contacts?

pixkelsandwixh · 21/08/2022 21:01

@Daisy4569 no he works somewhere else now! It’s quite awkward as I know I need to tell him ASAP and I’ve drafted messages and can’t seem to word it. I wouldn’t want him to think I had purposely withheld the information!

OP posts:
dudsville · 21/08/2022 21:06

That is a tangle! What wording have you stated so far?

"Hi x, I've got carried away a bit in the excitement of getting back in touch and have found myself in an awkward position. I'm actuality 7 months pg. I'm doing this in my own. I thought you should know".

Bigchezemakeme · 21/08/2022 21:08

‘Hope you’re not planning on a drinking lunch as I need to mention….I’m pregnant’

pixkelsandwixh · 21/08/2022 21:08

@dudsville he sent me a 6 minute voice message this eve telling me every detail of the weekend… I feel terrible. Last thing I want is for him to think I’ve misled him. Time to pull the plaster off and I might well take that wording!

OP posts:
MuggleMe · 21/08/2022 21:10

Hi, think there might have been some crossed wires. Was looking forward to catching up as a networking lunch, but if you're thinking it might be more, you might want to know I'm 7 months pregnant.

dudsville · 21/08/2022 21:11

You could say, " I'm worried now that I've been misleading, I'm sorry if that's the case, i just got carried away a bit"

Daisy4569 · 21/08/2022 21:11

Hmm yes tricky! I think if he’s openly flirty I’d literally just say you feel a bit awkward and weren’t sure how to mention it but felt like you should tell him before you meet up. If it’s more just friendly texts I’d just casually drop into conversation that you’ve been busy growing a little human! Regardless of how the information is given the outcome will be up to him really.

AQuietWalk · 21/08/2022 21:11

I don’t think you don’t need to apologise for not having told him until now. Just tell him that you wanted to share with him before you meet that you are in fact seven month’s pregnant and that you are doing it on your own, so you hope that will not lead to any awkwardness when you meet (and if it does, he is not the one for you).

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 21/08/2022 21:13

aquietwalk has put my tuppence better than I can.

pixkelsandwixh · 21/08/2022 21:15

Thanks! I don’t think he will want to date a pregnant woman which I understand and to be honest I don’t much feel like dating either… but I would be sad to lose the friendship now we have re connected. Ah well such is life.

OP posts:
Jewel7 · 21/08/2022 21:38

Explain what you have said you have enjoyed your friendship reconnection you are looking forward to lunch. But you are pregnant and definitely mention the single part. He may surprise you! X

Daisy4569 · 21/08/2022 21:38

I hope he is lovely about it and you continue your friendship.

Rina66 · 21/08/2022 21:44

pixkelsandwixh · 21/08/2022 21:15

Thanks! I don’t think he will want to date a pregnant woman which I understand and to be honest I don’t much feel like dating either… but I would be sad to lose the friendship now we have re connected. Ah well such is life.

I think I'd say exactly what you've said there but to him

ThirtyThreeTrees · 21/08/2022 21:45

You might be right, you might be wrong. You never know. Don't rule it out. A colleague of mine met her husband when she was pregnant via IVF.

dudsville · 22/08/2022 07:53

I agree with

dudsville · 22/08/2022 07:54

(stupid old phone!)i age with@ThirtyThreeTrees , you never know! Your context gives time to let a relationship grow slowly.

CrystalCoco · 22/08/2022 08:12

Message him thanks for the photos of his weekend and send him some of you - very obviously 7 months pregnant along with the wording from @Bigchezemakeme

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