I just want to feel better for this, please be gentle as I know I made a mistake. When I got to 34 I was desperate for a family. I had had so many relationships, so much dating, I was sick of it all. When I met someone at 32 I was so keen to make it work and I did fall in love. Felt lucky. But also knew this man was a risk. He was highly educated and professional but dysfunctional. Not really flexible or family orientated as he professed to be. His family very similar. I knew these things and basically did an astonishing act of ignoring it and lying to myself. I hoped it would work out. It didn’t and I’m not surprised but I am surprised looking back that I did this with such hope. I don’t know what I was thinking. He was never going to be the man I needed and I see it clear as day now. I just feel shit about it. Don’t expect sympathy but it goes over in my head and I guess just hope someone else out there may be in my boat. I feel so embarrassed behind closed doors.