Reconnecting with Ex?

[shreddedloopaper]

Does anyone have any experience of reconnecting with an ex after many years?
I've found Facebook messages from my ex. I haven't replied as it brings back upsetting memories. I was broken when we separated 17 years ago and it took me years to get over him. He says he misses me and still loves me. He lives in the Far East and has a family there.

His comment about loving me has burrowed deep into my brain and stirred me up against my will. I want to be able to handle this while staying emotionally distant, but I worry that if I engage with him, I’m going to get hurt (and loose my dignity to boot).

Delete the messages and move on

Block, delete and live your life.
If you reconnect your will end up back where you were years ago. Who’s got time for that????

You've not spoken For 17 years? He has a family, I'd leave him be.

Agree with PP - delete the messages and move on. He’s clearly a piece of work - he has a family and yet he’s telling you that he still loves you and misses you. There are only bad reasons for him to do that. You don’t need him back in your life in any form.

Also, you may want to touch up your shark cage.

Your instinctive reaction on seeing his messages appears to have been - how should you best respond?

Given this guy broke your heart 17 years ago and you know him to be married, a healthier instinctive reaction might have been - WTAF? Where does he get off sending me messages like that? The cheek of him, etc. And then delete his message and move on.

I am currently dating an ex, but we only split 30 years ago because of stage of life/logistics. Our relationship had been really lovely otherwise. And we are taking it slow—no I love you and always have love on ing stuff. Just now we are in a different stage of life and are getting to know each other again. I think there are major red flags here, but I don’t think I could just delete.