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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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5 replies

Idiotathome79 · 21/08/2022 13:42

I am Devastated been out for coffee with my partner , and he went outside for a cigarette , I finished up and went out to see him and saw he was on e harmony, he jumped and Panicked , I could Hear it in his voice ( we met via online dating and eharmony a been taking money which I knew about ) but he was viewing a women with a dog , anyway he started waffling about it taking another payment .
I let it go when he got home he wanted to go on his vr set at mine which he cast to his phone for me to watch , so whilst I had the phone I started to look through it , he had no messages on message or what's app ( I guess deleted ?)
There was a dating app
I didn't recognise but it looked tinder ish swipe right where he commented telling girls they are beautiful .
And then I mange to log into e harmony ( he has auto login on) and he was talking to someone Called Jemma asking what she wanted in a man , and then pages and pages of compliments smiley faces to
Many a girl .
I confronted him but haven't told him exactly what I have seen .

He said he wouldn't do that but I know he has , I am just so scared as there is a lot riding on this .
I don't know how to handle this .

OP posts:
Captnip500 · 21/08/2022 15:43

I am sorry OP, but he trying to cheat on you and maybe already has. I know you probably don’t want to believe that but clearly true. You need to get rid of him
now before you get more attached as it’s highly unlikely that he will ever be faithful to you if he has started this in the early days.

Antarcticant · 21/08/2022 15:46

Yes, he is either cheating or looking to line up someone to move on to. Best make your own plans to end things while you still have your dignity.

Idiotathome79 · 21/08/2022 15:49

Thank you catnip , I know
Your right after the initial conversation regarding what I saw at the cafe ( haven't told him about the messages I have seen) he tried to tell me he loved me etc why would he do that ? ,
I do believe he somewhat does think He loves me , but I am thinking he's now the type of man always looking for the grass is greener .
I just want to make sure I have everything backed up so he can't Deny it .

OP posts:
Antarcticant · 21/08/2022 15:57

I just want to make sure I have everything backed up so he can't Deny it

To be honest, it doesn't make any difference whether you have proof or not. You are within your rights to end the relationship for any or no reason whatsoever. If he denies it, so what? That will just show he's even more of a dick than you thought.

Idiotathome79 · 21/08/2022 16:09

I suppose I hadn't thought like that , thank you

OP posts:
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