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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

BIPOLAR BPD OR A HOLE

3 replies

Bubblyone23 · 21/08/2022 13:24

2 year old toddler together 7 years

Problems with dh started after baby. Issues with alcahol and weed. Have now Noticed a pattern every about 3 months of absolute explosion of anger, blame, Leaving us blaming me on everything, wild ideas, grandiosity. Telling me I'm trying to run his life and Tell him what to do. (Nothing major as far as I can see just day to day life with a toddler) and then guilt wanting to be a family wanting to come home make things right weeks later . Have had 2 of these big episodes. I have put up with it but am now questioning is it bpd bipolar or just an a hole I'm a fairly happy optimistic person and I know it cant be all on me. I work part time do everything for toddler. He is moody has lows every few weeks. Has been diagnosed with anxiety in the past. Were currently in another episode and im realising this pattern may never change as he does not think there's any issue and everything is my fault . Any experience of similar situations? I'm at a loss and going around in circles. I dont want to break up my family but aware it cannot continue. I don't know if he's ill or just a horrible person at times but im drained and realise now if its been going well to long something is usually brewing.

OP posts:
KurtCobainsColourfulCarpet · 21/08/2022 13:25

It doesn't actually matter. He's making your life - and by extension, your child's life - unpleasant and unpredictable. You don't owe him your life even if it is due to mental illness.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 21/08/2022 13:32

He’s an arse who has been self medicating anxiety with alcohol and weed. Unsurprisingly it has not worked out.

I would plan your exit from this with due care.
Do not continue to raise your child in both a dysfunctional and abusive home. As for not wanting to break up the family well that’s already happened. Better to be from a so called broken home also than to remain in one. What he is showing you now is the nice/nasty cycle of abuse and that is a continuous one.

whycantitbecalm · 30/12/2022 21:45

@Bubblyone23
How are you getting on?

Your hubbie sounds like mine, after 19 yrs of that behaviour i told him i thought he had BPD and he needed to go to the doctors.
The doctor agreed with me, he had antidepressants but now two years later he's back to what he was.

I see him treating our children the same and honestly i wish someone had told me it would be ok if i left years ago.

You have to look after you and your kids always and first.
You all deserve safety and happiness x

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