Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Do "players" ever change?

34 replies

supertrouperlights · 20/08/2022 16:20

If you met a man who was 40
Had a grown up daughter (19) had failed relationships behind them...showed narcissistic tendencies...history of sleeping around,talking to multiple women and he was known to love attention....
Is there a chance he will ever change ?
Stop checking other women out? Not need attention from all over and just be happy with one woman?

OP posts:

hewouldwouldnthe · 20/08/2022 19:51

The older they get the more they need the validation and the harder they need to try to get it. so no, never.

Whitehorsegirl · 20/08/2022 19:57

No.

Narcissists especially can't change because they are unable to self-reflect and realise they have issues.

Thinkbiglittleone · 20/08/2022 20:00

I do think some "players" can change if they meet the right person.

I'm not sure what you are asking though OP, what do you mean when they get older and loose their looks they calm down..,are you asking if you should settle for a man who will attempt to be content with just you once he is too old to pull anyone else...NO.
If you are not enough for him now, he's lost his chance and his option to be with you.

You should be with someone who wants to be with you, not because he can't get anyone else and he's settling for you.

scoobydoo1971 · 20/08/2022 20:27

Players who do this because they are narcissists don't want to change. The chase is all part of the game for them. They love the attention and it is all about them and their needs. They ultimately make very boring partners to be around, as they have low empathy for the everyday problems of other people in their lives. They are unreliable, shifty people who have a vanity that makes them dull as dishwater to be around. Lots of nice folk out there who don't act this way.

Staynow · 20/08/2022 20:46

Nah narcs don't change, when they can no longer get the attention they crave they often turn to prostitutes. Run for the hills this is not someone that anyone should be in a relationship with.

MadMadMadamMim · 20/08/2022 20:49

Two words. Ryan Giggs.
No, they don't.

Isittrueornot · 20/08/2022 21:03

In a word- No!

Username1708 · 20/08/2022 21:30

Some of them change. Some of them don't.
Either way, I wouldn't want to be the one to find out.

Wolfiefan · 20/08/2022 21:36

I hate this shit. He’s not a “player”. He’s an arsehole. Checking out the bum of a stranger. Yuck. Bin the cheat and go for a grown man next time. Someone who knows how to be in a relationship.

Flip

1 2