Post divorce life

[brokenandbrokenx]

I need advice, please.
I’m planning on ending my marriage. nothing happened, no cheating, abuse, nothing, but unfortunately I no longer feel attracted to him. I do love him, he’s a great, an amazing person that I want to keep in my life as family, he’s my kids dad, but I don’t want to be in romantic relationship anymore.
So,, I’m not asking relationship advice, it’s more about financial practicalities.
I’ve got a salary of 63k/year. Not a lot of money saved but a few. We also have the house to sell which should release a good equity (about a 1/3 of mortgage left only to pay).
I’m worried if moneywise I’ll be able to hold to myself with 2 kids (10.5 and 8 atm). I’ll very likely need to relocate to a cheaper area, with good schools near by (will need primary and secondary) by then. Plan is make is to communicate about splitting around Jan, then move out by Summer next year. For reference I’m in Essex/ Herts currently. I’ve got direct trains to London, around 45min commute time.
Can you wise MNs people recommend me good towns/villages reasonably priced for living as a single parent with good schools and a good commute service into London, please? I WFH 99% of the time, but do need to be able to go there if needed (its rare but does happen, and I also have friends there who I want to be able to visit too).
Any advice is very welcome, specially from new divorced ladies to give me some reassurance that I can do this and it’ll be alright.
I’m scared as fuck. I
’m early 40s if that matters.
Thanks in advance!

Anyone?

Oh bless you. I'm 5 years down the line from separation and 4 from divorce. My one bit of advice is however hard you think it's going to be - triple it, if not more. I had a plan similar to yours and thought I could keep going. I didn't, I lost it over a Tesco pizza as I was living so miserably and on the edge.
I think if you ask some more direct questions you will get better answers but I appreciate it's hard knowing what to ask.

Sorry, I can’t offer you any specific advice. Im over 60 and divorcing after 30 years of marriage.

We are sharing the house at the moment, and at the beginning of the financials.

Just to say best of luck. I personally can’t wait to get started on the next part of my life.

What makes you think the children will be living with you post divorce?

Tbh you'll probably have them 50 50 so won't be able to move far, i moved 4 mins down the road. Sort out custody before you start searching.

And honestly, kids need both parents in their lives

Hi

My husband and I have been struggling for years. Most recently, his drinking and other elements are becoming out of hand e.g coming home every weekend after 5am, hammered. I am 33 and he is 51. We have two very young children and it breaks my heart that he doesn't want to spend time as a family and that his friends and social life come before us.

i have asked him several times over to work on himself and maybe think about how difficult things are for me.

i have worked on myself and worked on how angry i get with his antics, albeit sometimes justified.

Today, he told me he is moving out. I am so upset and heart broken. Even though i feel like this is what i have wanted for a while, i cannot help but feel broken. He has blamed his behaviour on me.

I come from a broken home and really do not want the same for my children.

I’m not sure what i want from this post, but i am feeling it.

Be aware he may go for custody of the children. I think you should discuss with your husband when you separate what is best for the children then both discuss where you will move to. Seeing many friends go through this, the divorces with children that worked best are the ones where both parents remained in close vicinity. You write about your future life as if your husband won’t have a say in your childrens lives and in your head it will all go as you plan. It won’t be as easy as this.

Just to add, I raised my daughter alone since she was 3. I had a similar wage to you and live in south east of England. I managed well but my ex lived near by and had a lot of family support. You need to stay near family/friend/father of the children.

Thanks to everyone who replied, much appreciated. Just to clarify I'm not planning on having full custody of the kids. They love their dad , and he loves them too, I'd never ever keep them apart, and we'll for sure share it 50/50.
I mentioned about relocating because I'm sure neither of us can afford to live where we live at the moment as a single parent. It's an expensive area. We can do currently because we joint finances. Se we for sure will have to agree on a new location to go, but each on their own. So if I have some ideas to start with, it may be very helpful. I'm trying to research but it's hard without recommendations.

Early 40s, recently divorced, sold family home a month ago and moved to Tonbridge, TN9 so walking distance from the station that commutes into London. Took us 4 years to get here. I don’t know a soul here but people are super friendly and lovely neighbours, very much a community. I’m on £45k a year and have a 3 bed terraced house. My kids are teens so I don't have the added stress of childcare or schools/colleges as they are commuting to their present places. I’m bracing myself for the struggle but it’s all worth it. It’s our home and we did it. Sheer relief. It’s a lovely area, as is Sevenoaks.
Good luck! You can do it!

I'm on a similar salary to you, I haven't relocated but I took over the family home with a huge mortgage! My kids are 2&8 so I also have childcare costs.
I live in east Herts, near junction 25 of M25. Where I live there are two train stations taking you to Liverpool Street. Good schools etc and very family friendly.

Feel free to PM me

I seriously downsized when I divorced so I could stay in the area and keep dc in the same schools. Is that something you could do?