Heads a mess.....

[headhurtsagain]

I've been in a tangled mess with my husband for almost a year. I've had so many threads. I've not got the energy to go into it all but it's over. Again.

He was never violent, no name calling or anything but I would walk on eggshells around him. I have left him and we don't live together but we're still seeing each other trying to make it work.

Ive been in therapy for 10 months now, I've worked with my local woman's aid. They tell me his is abusive and controlling.

I've left feeling today like it's all me and my fault.

He told me he read my private diary and all the bad things I've written about him.

Sorry I don't even know what to say right now but I could use some support please.

They say it takes on average 7 times for a woman to leave an abusive relationship. I now understand why.

So he’s still invading your privacy and trampling your boundaries even while in counselling. Please, why are you trying to make it work? He will never change enough to become a loving husband who respects you.

I know that. I just fall for it when he promises change. And in some ways, he has changed. He's had therapy too.

A lot is to do with me. I have no self esteem so when he tells me he loves me and he will change, I just fall for it.

He said he read my diary at the start, when I left and that all I've done is make him sound like a bad person.

If people want you to say nice things about them, they have to give you nice things to say about them.

You're only reflecting on your experience of him.

It makes him sound like a bad person because...

In your shoes, I'd be working on me and being self sufficient without him. Not on trying to make a relationship with him work.

@GreyCarpet in all honesty I've been somehow managing to do both. I've worked so hard on myself and Im hoping it will help me get over all this.