Would you date someone who was close friends with more than one ex?

[Foodx123]

Post on behalf of someone else!!

Would you date someone who was close friends with more than one of their ex’s?

One of the ex’s lives in his mortgaged home. In lockdown she needed somewhere to stay and he wasn’t staying there so agreed. (he’s never there because he works away, and the rest of the time he’s staying with his girlfriend) He pays half the mortgage, and half the utilities, but he has not stayed there for the last few months since starting a relationship with his girlfriend.

opinions? Should the girlfriend be concerned even if they have a platonic relationship?. They originally broke up because the woman didn’t want to be with him which was 5 years ago.

Exactly this! Thank you, was starting to think that I was weird for not being full of bitter hatred!

One lives in another country but visits me when he passes through. I've lived in 2 countries since as well. The other moved to his parents home town a few hundred miles away in the countryside but we still call often and it's been 10 years. I consider both to be two of my best friends and I know they feel the same about me. We have certainly all moved on. I'm with the man of my dreams, one is in a 10 year relationship and the other isn't dating but he's very very happy by himself, has a great lifestyle doesn't want to date. Both my exs still care about me and I care about them, it's never going to be romantic love again but there's no reason I wouldn't support them and be good friends. They know me better than most people!

Of course current partner doesn't mind, he knows it's platonic and he has even built a friendship of his own with one of them, he's always sending him messages on my phone or joining in with calls talking about a common interest I've no time for.

It's nice! Nothing to hide. Why shouldn't we all get along? Just because some people have toxic and explosive break ups doesn't mean its the case for everybody. Sometimes people show grow apart, especially in your 20s, so many bug life decisions and changes. We sre all super happy now, can't imagine having the energy to sit around hating an ex and certainly wouldn't tolerate veibg told who I can and can't speak to so it's a good job current boyfriend likes them I guess haha.

Not with one, never mind more than one

I’m good friends with an ex. We were together 5 years when I was in my 20s, I’m now early 40s. We just drifted apart, no animosity or cheating etc. Why wouldn’t we remain friends? He now lives in a different continent, but we are still in touch, talk about 3 or 4 times a year and text maybe monthly or so. I’ve met his wife and child.

I have another good friend from uni who I drunkenly hooked up with twice over the years. We are still great friends. His wife knows about our hook ups and has no issue with it, she’s now one of my close friends and I meet/contact her independently of him, as well as meeting/contacting him separately and them together at various times.

To me, it’s a sign of a decent person and security and stability in a relationship if people can remain friends with an ex and a new partner accept it. I’m always wary of people who wade in as a new bf/gf and decree that friendships must end henceforth, as that seems to be borne from deep insecurity and the oft-claimed ‘trust issues’ which is used as an excuse for all manner of poor behaviour.

I've two ex's that I'm still friends with, both are in long term relationships and I'm happily married, we don't live near each other so meet ups are rare,in fact my dh would meet one quite often through their hobby but I've no interest in it so I'm not there, I moved back to the area they are from when my mother was ill, it meant dh and I living apart for over a year, my ex's were so incredibly kind, considerate and helpful during that time, they checked on me daily by phone, offered to do anything needed to help, when I was practically living in the hospital one of them drove 40min to drop off a hot meal after speaking to me and realising I hadn't eaten, the other insisted I rang when leaving the hospital late at night and he spoke to me until he knew I was home safe, my husband knows all this and indeed he thanked them both privately after the funeral, when we married (over 10 years ago) one of them was there and ended up making a speech (he had actually introduced dh and I). Knowing someone has a friendly respectful caring relationship with an ex would be the opposite of a red flag for me.