DP throwing money at the problems

[User57994]

I got into a trap of doing all the cleaning and housework.

Complained about it.

DP hires a weekly cleaner to make up for not doing "his share". Pays from his own money.

Its still me picking clothes up from floor, loading and unloading dishwasher, tidying and day to day keeping on top of things.

If I don't cook tea, he buys takeaway, never any attempt to cook tea for the family himself.

Are these acceptable solutions? It does take a chunk off my plate which is what I wanted but can't decide if I'm placated or not 😄

I do the same as your DH - I find it far easier to pay for a cleaner and get a Hello Fresh box. My DH is pretty good though. (To be fair I do work long hours with a long commute).

That's all it would take! I don't understand when the laundry basket is 3 metres away from the boxers he's just left on the bathroom floor, the dishwasher is right underneath the bowl he's dumped on the side, the fridge is next to the butter he's left out. Surely its easier to just do it rather that have me being mad at him?

It's 5 second jobs, but adds up when you're doing it for other people a hundred times a day. And it's disrespectful.

I’d lose all respect for him and be planning my exit. He’s not interested in being a grown up or in parenting. The ick would kill the relationship.

Still don’t understand you. He’s helping. Appreciate the help.

He is NOT helping and males doing chores in the home should never be seen by women as “helping”. He is responsible for 50 percent of the stuff that goes on in the house and he’s farmed his part out to a cleaner.

Why are you with such a man?. He is disrespecting you sand his employed cleaner by doing this. He sees the housework as woman’s work because he’s too important to do tasks like this.

I'd have to do a lot less if I lived on my own, and he'd have to do a lot more. Who's helping whom?

Stop doing his share. Every time he mentions something, say ‘I thought the cleaner would do that?

^ I would do this. I would also ensure I was never home when the cleaner was there/if I had to be I would tell her straight only clean what you can get to. But that doesn't solve the problem. In reality he'll just live with a pile of clothes in the corner I imagine. To me this is an issue of not being a team and having no respect for the partnership.

OK, the fact that he has children and you don't makes this situation ten times worse. No wonder his ex left him! I'm not sure I'd be putting up with this any longer OP.

www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288/amp

The point of him is what exactly? Throw him back.