hello, I’m looking for some much needed advice.
my DD is 1 year old. Iv been with my partner for 8 years on the 27th of this month. Ever since she was born there has been a shift in my relationship. Well to be honest. It was before she was born I had hyperemesis grandivarum so spent most of my pregnancy throwing up. Or in bed. I even moved back in with my mum because I needed someone to care for me 24/7. My partner stayed at his mums and just come to visit me which was hard because I didn’t want to talk because it would make me throw up. Anyway. When I turned 8 months pregnant I moved back in with my partner. He found the whole pregnancy difficult said he didn’t like to come visit me because it made him depressed. And he was finishing off his masters and opening a new business too.
fast forward a year. Iv totally devoted my whole life to my dream daughter 🥹 I still breastfeed, we co sleep, she is the light of my life. Literally crying as I write that. I don’t think it’s a bad thing to be head over heels for your baby. She’s so social, she’s such a good girl and Iv never been away from her. I don’t need a “break” the very idea of it makes me ill. But in all this bubble, somewhere along the way my boyfriend has been almost cast aside. We’ve not been on a date night. We do things as a family. And the only time we get together is when I put her to bed at about 6:30pm. But then the rest of the evening is free. He’s never been very affectionate he says he’s not very good at it. So we don’t have that and we don’t say sweet things to each other we don’t talk about how we feel. It feels at the minute like we just exist in the same house. Don’t get me wrong we chat and we do have a laugh. But it’s just not enough. We have booked therapy this month because we’ve totally forgotten how to communicate and how to be in a relationship. I take some responsibility because I have made my DD my entire life. But that’s just what you do when you have a baby? So today he told me he was moving his stuff to his mums until our appointment with the therapist because he thinks the space would be good for both of us. But when I got home he hadn’t packed anything. Was just chatting away like normal. So I said do you want a hand packing and he looked at me funny and said no.
basically what I’m asking is are we too far gone 🥹 we both want to go to therapy we both want to communicate but how do you get the spark back when you feel like you’ve lost your way? Please be gentle with your reply’s my anxiety is so bad right now.