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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Couples therapy

2 replies

SusieKew · 19/08/2022 11:09

Hey lovely people. My partner and I have recently started couples therapy and it’s our first time. We have issues with communication. I am very emotional and he is very logical. If something upsets me I like to communicate that rather than let it build up whereas he just sees it as complaining. He is an entrepreneur and has been under a lot of pressure with new ventures since December last year which as a result has impacted the relationship for the best part of this year. I have been feeling emotionally disconnected for months. I miss him and I miss us. We haven’t seen each other in almost 4 weeks and we live 45 minutes away from each other. He has not told me he misses me or loves me in these weeks, unless it’s in response to what to me saying it (which I’ve dwindled down on) and honestly I just feel so hurt. I believe my attachment style is anxious and his is avoidant but I don’t know if this is me rationalising his behaviour or excusing it? It seems that he wants to have a few more therapy sessions before we spend time together again but it just makes me feel like packing the relationship in. I’m really struggling with the distance, both physically and emotionally but he seems to be getting on fine. Is it normal to spend time apart whilst in couples therapy?

OP posts:
decenthalf · 22/12/2022 08:11

hello Susiekew. I was searching for people's experiences of counselling and I found your post from August. It breaks my heart to see people reach out to the mostly active Mumsnet community and have zero responses. Had the same zero response to posts myself and it's quite deflating emotionally... So hey your situation; hope it's gotten better. Your rational OH might have autistic characteristics so him not saying he misses you might be that. That's just something that comes to mind, I've nowhere near enough context to say (not that I am an expert). How has the therapy gone? And are you spending more time together ?

InterestedinNewThings · 26/07/2023 14:28

Did your therapy help? How are things? What therapy group did you use?

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