Roommate abusing me and blames me for unsuccessful date that I wasn't even present for

[clib]

>i own a house
>let best friend of 10 years come and live with me for a highly discounted rate
>have pretty good time until last week
>he goes on date with a girl
>the date is unsuccessful
>instead of admitting that she wasn't that into him, she blames it on me. says that him living with a woman is 'too much' for her
>he has significant shortcomings that would make him unappealing partner
>he is 28, NEET, lives on welfare, has no college/achievements/irl friends, personality disorder, dependent on others, doesnt drive, no ambitions or goals, serious benzo addiction
>they also live 3hrs and a £40 train fare away from one another, (he doesnt work or drive)
>he now utterly and unironically believes her. that i, having done nothing but accommodate him, am responsible for their demise
>mfw NEVER even spoke to her, interacted with her, know her name or anything about her. i did nothing. i was not present for the date either. i dont even have social media.
>threatened to kill himself over this one date
>claimed that he tried to neck himself over this (no marks on his neck)

>is now treating me like shit
>burned a frame picture of us together, sent me the video of him doing so
>says i have ruined his life
>literally never seen this side of him
>he is trying to force me to accept responsibility for her rejection of him and is even posting online that it's my fault

i cannot choose between these theories:

>his date was genuinely intimidated by me and the impressive life i have built for myself and that i am a well-adjusted normal woman
>his date was just not into him at all
>there was attraction, but not enough for her to overlook the inconvenience of the distance
>he acted batsh** and overemphasised my presence in his life to a woman he didnt know very well

i know this is misdirected anger but f her for blaming me instead of being honest with him, because of her i have to deal with his meltdown. i am currently staying at my uncle's because he is being so unpleasant towards me.

i do not want to lose our 10 year friendship, he has always been there for me and has been my rock. we are extremely close.

what do we think the chances are that her excuse of being put off by his female roommate is in any way real?

Why would you? Are you his carer?

You have given headspace to his batshit claim that you are to blame for his crap date.
So on the one hand, you tell us it could be that -
his date was genuinely intimidated by me and the impressive life i have built for myself and that i am a well-adjusted normal woman

But then you go on to say -
i am currently staying at my uncle's because he is being so unpleasant towards me.

Well adjusted women with impressive lives do not run away to their uncle's house because they are unable to deal with the bully they have allowed to cocklodge in their own home.

i do not want to lose our 10 year friendship, he has always been there for me and has been my rock. we are extremely close.
They also do not waste time bleating about "friendship" when the person in question is not acting like a friend.

Why are you allowing this man to walk all over you?
You are not friends. You are co-dependents.
Get him out of your house, & allow his own family or GP to organise his CPN.

Whats NEET?

Not in Education, Employment or Training.

OP you need to get home asap. You've left an angry addict alone with your possessions. Can your uncle or another friend of family member go with you and help him out the door?

Kick him out. He is not your child or partner. You owe him nothing. He sounds ridiculously dramatic.

Would your uncle come back to the house with you and help get this knobend of a "friend" to leave?

Time to end the tenancy and change the locks. He sounds unhinged

You're crazy for allowing this person into your home.

Get this psychotic and deluded loser out of your house.

He’s a massive loser, instead of sorting himself out a life and making himself an attractive prospect for a romantic relationship he’s blaming his rubbish prospects on you. His date probably saw him for what he is (a lazy user) and maybe she doesn’t like him relying on another woman but that’s still his problem, not yours. Who would chose to date this guy?

All you’ve done is support him. It’s time to stop, and get him out of your house, he’s abusive and scary. He’s not your friend, he’s a user. You are not responsible for him or his lack of dating success.

My number 1 rule in life is to never let someone make their problems your problems. Lots of people will try to push their problems onto you, to put the blame on you so they don’t have to face up to the fact it’s their own fault. And they’ll try to get you to solve their problems as they’re too lazy to do it themselves. Stop now. Evict him asap and concentrate on developing better friendships in the future.

10 years too long to stay his friend, better to have one less friend than put up with such crap behaviour.