DP got dumped just before they dated me

[Unsureunsure123]

Just started seeing someone - they seem to tick all the right boxes so far, but one detail they revealed has me a little concerned: about a week or two before our first date, they got dumped by someone else. Now, they’d only been seeing each other a couple of months, but even so they admit they really liked them and were sad they got dumped.

They claim they didn’t spend any time feeling upset about, having a drink/moan to friends, etc. Got nothing out of their system - and was no need to - because they hadn’t known them that long. But they’ve known me less than they were together and they talk about how emotionally close we are, etc??

Should I bit a bit concerned? I worry, given they obviously didn’t want to end it, but then breezed straight into dating me. They argue this is simply what dating’s like. But… if that’s the case am I right to not take their professions of love after a month and a bit, all that seriously (at least not yet!) I can’t help shake the feeling I’m just the latest up on a conveyor belt.

Any thoughts?

Someone not wanting to see you after a couple of months barely even qualifies as a dumping. How old are you both, if you don’t mind me asking?

I’d be more worried about professions of love after a month, to be honest. I have cheese in my fridge that’s older than your relationship. You barely know each other, nobody is in love.

Love bombing?

How long is long enough to grieve in your opinion.. I think they’ve had a healthy response myself.
It doesn’t sound like they had a long relationship, they were just dating (as are you two). Some people date more than one person early on, it would be slightly worrying/dramatic to have to grieve that ‘loss’ for months imo.

Perhaps they have just clicked with you, who knows, impossible to say. It’s a bit early doors for the L word though.

Hmm. 🚩🚩

Sounds like he’s love bombing you. I wouldn’t be comfortable with someone who can go from one woman to the next so soon either. Short relationship or not what’s wrong with being single for a bit?

Throw this one back.

Maybe they're just 'playing it down' - they admit to being a bit sad, what more do you want?

Possible they just doesn't want to sound like a loser that was a bit gutted over being dumped?

It was only a couple of months they were dating so maybe they're telling the truth that it wasn't necessary to play sinead o'connor and cry on their friends shoulders?

Would you really have preferred to hear how deeply and profoundly they felt the loss of the previous partner? Would you not then be thinking 'what the heck' it was only a couple of months!

Professions of love to you in such a short space of time is the red flag I can see here.

Maybe they didn’t feel a bit sad at all. But said it because they thought that’s what you’d want to hear.

You can connect with some people much quicker than others.

Were they sad because it hurt their ego rather than because the relationship ended?

Do you feel like they're moving too fast?

Your DP was me once upon a time I got dumped after about 6months into the relationship. I was upset even though I knew the relationship wasn't going to be long term as I had also dumped him 1month prior but we somehow got back together (maybe he just wanted the last say).

1 week later I started talking to a guy and 5years later we are now married and have a baby girl born last month. I told DH at the time that I had just got out of a relationship & he didn't care.

I'd say carry on with the relationship and see how it goes.

He can't be on his own, not even long enough to process what happened in his last relationship (it's the quality of it that counts, not solely how long it lasted). Instead he'll carry that unprocessed emotional baggage around with him.
I'm afraid I'd struggle to be with someone so weak.

I get your general point, however as you say

it’s the quality of it that counts

so arguably it could be the case that OP’s partner simply has a much better quality relationship with them than they did with the previous partner (even if they were a bit gutted with them ending it).