Ruining good relationship

[oonrug]

I was hoping for some advice if possible please.

I've been with my boyfriend for a year now, both in our early twenties.

Our relationship is great and we get on so well, he lives with me now and we just enjoy each other's company so much. We have a good balance as we spend every night after work together, then on the weekends we'll go do something like a meal or go out for drinks with our friends, etc.

He is a lovely guy and constantly tells me how much he loves me, can't wait to spend his life with me, doesn't know how he got so lucky to get me - that type of thing.

But in the back of my mind, I'm just thinking it's going to end, he's going to go out and meet someone else, get bored of me, want somebody else that's not me. I don't know if I just feel like it's too good to be true, because he's done absolutely nothing that should make me feel this way.

I have never had a bad experience with men - my ex and I were together for 7 years and he treated me amazingly so It's not as if I have had a negative experience that has created trust issues or anything.

I feel like I am sabotaging my relationship by just thinking the worst

I’m the same. I just try to ignore that little voice and be constantly delighted they’re still into me! Think of it as an unexpected good thing rather than something to worry about.

@Another2022 thank you, I'm trying to think like that. I always just have these thoughts at the back of my mind telling me that it's going to end I just wish I didn't over think so much

Are you sure you're not secretly hoping it ends? It sounds suffocating to me, but then I'm happily single.

Can you not wait and see? Everyone in a relationship might be single tomorrow, whether they expect it or not. It's ok to have these feelings. If it's only something hanging around in the back of your mind, and you have a lovely time with him, let it be. Questioning your feelings and trying to rationalise them is sometimes worse than having them.

What was your parents' relationship like as you grew up? And their relationship with you? There might be something there to explain how you feel. It might not be relevant to this relationship, but more 'how you view relationships' in general.

You say you had a great relationship with your ex... how come you broke up?

@Watchkeys thanks for your comment, I know your right. It's draining when I'm constantly worrying about it when I don't really have a reason to, then I'm worrying about him being with some one else - it's as if my brain is just working overtime!

Parents relationship all good, they've been happily married for 20 years and I have a great relationship with them so absolutely no issues there.

As for my ex, we also had a great relationship and he was the kindest soul. We broke up because we were together from 15 - 22 and I just felt that we had outgrown eachother. It was a difficult decision but there was no bad blood from either sides

@EvenMoreFuriousVexation it might sound that way from my post but I don't want it to end. Ahh happily single, that's something I have never experienced but envy those who are!

What happens when you're single, @oonrug ? Or do you mean you never really have been?

@Watchkeys well I was single for a year between my last relationship to this one, but I came out of such a long term relationship I was kind of getting over that for the most part. My current boyfriend is the first person I properly met after my ex so I wouldn't say I was 'happily single' if you see what I mean

My current boyfriend is the first person I properly met after my ex so I wouldn't say I was 'happily single' if you see what I mean

How would you define 'happily single'?