My partner hasn't asked me to be his wife.

[fifi19]

Hi. I am a woman of the age of 32. I have a girl of the age of 2. Me and the father of the girl live together since she was born. we wanted a child so our daugher was planed. Even tho we planed to have a baby we never discussed if we would get married. At the time it wasn't a very important thing for me. After we became parents, i started to feel the need for the assurence of my man and to be honest, the need to be husband and wife. The first year after i gave birth all my attention was to my baby girl (and also to him) but i really feel lonely sometimes. I have from time to time bad thoughts. My partner doesn't want to have sexual raports as much as i do, and doesn't feel the need to have my company as much as i do. We make 5 years since we have started our relationship. I am starting to be very insecure and jealous.I know that its not something physical because I havent changed at all after giving birth, i am very fit and men find me attractive (its something you understand just walking on the street). When i asked him if he wants to get married he jumped from topic to topic. That he didnt find the right time and than he doesnt believe that some legal papers makes us a family. I feel so hurt not to have sincere answers that i just dont want to talk about my feeliings anymore. What is your thought about my situation. what would you have done if being in my position?

Whether “proof or not” re. money, legal advice on all aspects of your position I would say could be very helpful.

How did you pay him the €30,000? In a lump sum or in smaller amounts over time? Where did you get that money from?

we made the renovations while i was pregnant and my parents helped me with all
the money as we didn’t make no wedding celebration or honeymoon.
it was a gift from them. I have some receipts of things i have bought and the contractor that made all the work at the house is a friend of my family, so he can give me a proof.

You need to speak to a lawyer in Albania. Most of us her only know English law

If a man cannot say straight out that he wants to marry you when you discuss it, he is avoiding it.
I agree with everyone else, I am sorry but I think you need to get legal advice on your options over there.
Then you can decide if you want to break up, or you want to stay and accept it as it is. It does not sound like you are happy with him as things are.

There’s a phrase in English- “why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free”.

It’s considered quite crass and old-fashioned, but I think it still rings true in a situation like this.

Basically, he got everything he wanted (a child, regular sex, a woman who is likely cooking his dinner and cleaning his house) without having to spend any money or take any financial risk for doing so.

You should actually be asking yourself why he SHOULD marry you, given that he has much less risk being single.

Using a child as a pawn is shitty behaviour

Given you haven't said he's abusive this would be really wrong. Decisions on contact with both parents should be based on what is best for your daughter and has nothing to do with your her Dad owing you money.

Gather whatever evidence you can, see a solicitor, find out your rights and then talk to him about what you want.

Your daughter deserves a relationship with her father, it is pretty disgusting to plan to deny her that over a financial disagreement with her dad. Speak to a solicitor to see what your legal options of getting the money back are.

I do to think that everything should be about what is best about my kid. I am just asking for all the options if his response and time will tell that he has planned to take everything i had. But my first concern about our relationship was primarily about how would anyone feel or do if in a position when you want to be husband and wife and he doesn’t do anything about that. He is not abusive and loves our daughter. He has a good behavior towards me and my family also. We do respect each other. But sometimes i have this concern that the first person that replied to me understood without mentioning. That we have a house that i put money in it and in the end nothing is in my name. Everyone says he doesn’t want to marry you but i live with him and neither me is sure if he does or not. I don’t want to make a big deal about it but some things happening like he is not being so close to me ( I don’t feel like i have a real partner in my life, more like a roommate) he doesn’t ask me help for anything or ask me advice, or just telling me about his day and his concers made me feel that he really doesn’t want to marry me. And if time will tell so.. i do thank you, i will take advise before and be prepared even if i want to make thing work out. Thank you everyone. You were so helpful. I wouldn’t have the courage and i would be ashamed to talk about this with people that know me.

Best of luck, fifi. I hope it all works out for you