How to return his stuff? Abusive ex

[Returninghisthings]

Hi,

Name change cos well - if he recognises he can link stuff up.

My abusive ex partner was arrested, charged & stands trial for domestic abuse soon.

We jointly own a house. He is no longer allowed there - due to obvious reasons.

His things are all there and I am currently living there. House is due to be sold soon. He is renting somewhere. I am purchasing a new one.

How do I get him to collect his stuff / return his stuff without him being at the house without it being

1. a massive effort on my part


2. a massive cost to me (storage units / renting vans etc)

He is telling me to move out early and he will collect before completion - but this isn’t an option because I will purchase my new house the same day as this one is sold …. I have nowhere to stay either for those couple of days - pets and stuff means hotel out of the question & work etc.

Open to suggestions - but I am not talking just small things here. We are talking large furniture etc too that I don’t want to have to deal with.

Tell him it will all be on the drive for a family member or friend to collect on X day at X time, make the effort his to remove it.

Tell him to arrange for a removals firm to come before completion and you can go round with them and identify what’s his that needs to be taken.
you can’t be shifting heavy furniture around so he will need to pay someone to do it for him. I’m assuming you have a NOn mol or restraining order in place which means he can’t come anywhere near the property anyway

Tell him in writing (or inform someone he is in contact with if you don't want to message him directly) that you expect him to hire a professional removal company to come and pick up all his possessions and that he should also arrange for them to do the packing.

Give him the dates of when you expect this to happen by. So basically the removal company will do all the work and you only have to liaise with them directly to organise date and time for them to do the packing and removing.

Also state that if this is not arranged as you requested that you will then dispose of all his belongings. Some charities like the British heart foundations can collect items from homes, including furnitures that they then sell in their bigger shops.

If you have to pay anything because he does not make the right arrangements, state that you expect the amount to be deducted from his share of the house sale so you can get your money back that way.

Basically, just treat it like a business arrangement and state your terms and insists everything is done by professionals rather any of his friends or family being anywhere near the property.

Best of luck with your new life.

I booked a "man with a van" and loaded it with help at my end at a time when he knew - then sent it to him and he unloaded at his end and paid the delivery man. I suppose it depends how much stuff he has.
The man was a bit wary that he wouldn't pay at the time but I told him that he was welcome to keep his stuff if he didn't!