This is long so I apologies in advance. DH and I have been living in a rental for a couple years. Earlier this year we had a baby and have quickly out-grown this place. We’re not in a position to buy at the moment and I haven’t been happy in the area we’re in. I don’t drive and there’s nothing around us, not even a close enough supermarket that I can walk to and the bus service here is ridiculously expensive to get to the nearest city. DH has been speaking to MIL about us moving in for a while, and whilst this is the best option for us at the moment, I’m stressed and not looking forward to it. Don’t get me wrong I’m incredibly grateful that she has no issue with us moving in, but we have a bit of a history. We have lived with her temporarily (before baby) a few years ago and the reason we ended up moving out and renting instead of continuing to save to buy was because of how unbearable she was to live with. Controlling doesn’t even come close to a good enough description. My DH couldn’t trim his beard without her standing over him to make sure he trimmed it short enough (I’m not joking). We had to replace our bed whilst we lived there as the wooden slats under the mattress were starting to break (woke up on the floor a few times). I ordered the new bed and she begged me to cancel the order and told me there was nothing wrong with the bed that was there. I told her the slats were falling through in the middle of the night and she told me that’s not a reason to get a new bed. She even tried to call IKEA and cancel the order.
My biggest worry though is the baby. She’s been begging for alone time with him since he was a week old and is so grabby with him when we go to visit. I’ve snapped at her a few times about grabbing him off of me, mostly because she’s a bit of a liability. She’s almost fallen over with him in her arms twice in our presence. She’s not old and fragile, she’s just really clumsy. Falls down the stairs more times than I’m sure she’d care to admit, has broken four bones just this year. I know that she’s going to want to be a third parent to my son and I’m not going to be able to cope with the whining and questioning of why I won’t leave her alone with him. She’s also very forgetful, to the point that I do question if she’s starting to lose her memory. Her mother had dementia before she passed and her brother has early onset dementia. She’s left the car running on the driveway over night, leaves the stove on at least three or four times a week (tells us like it’s a funny joke) and leaves doors unlocked overnight with the keys in the on the outside! We used to have to do a check of downstairs every time she went to bed.
I honestly don’t want to move in, I can see it becoming a huge issue and a big argument breaking out. I’ve told DH this but he’s stressed, aside from child benefit he’s our only source of income at the moment and he’s struggling to see the month through whilst we’re living here. We will of course be contributing at MIL’s but it won’t come near the amount of money we pay here. I just don’t want an argument breaking out in the first week. The only plus side is that there’s a lot to do in her area for someone who doesn’t drive so I can be out of the house a lot but she works from home so if I’m not out of the house she’s not going to leave the baby alone and be all over him. I’m sure I’ve missed out points here but I’m just in such a dilemma. How am I going to manage this huge change?