Physical and emotional abuse

[Inamess2022]

Hi, I started a thread a few weeks ago about my very volatile and toxic relationship. It has now got even worse. I have taken my son down to my parents so he can move the remainder of his items. He has said some terrible things since including the fact that he will change my locks and squat in my house: he also emailed my dad and made some evil allegations about me as parent all of which they know are unfounded and untrue. At 4am he what’s apped me alternating between I’m so sorry, I don’t want to leave, you have made me homeless, I loved you etc then it was I think you are having sex with your friends husband because that’s what you are and I should go round and warn them. I am genuinely scared of what to do next. There have been historic incidents that I let slide including physical things. I feel perplexed, sad, and a shell of the person I was. I’m so worried about how to begin to navigate getting over this: there is still a small part of me that feels sorry for him and questions myself that I have driven him to this because I made the decision I wasn’t happy being part of a blended family anymore. On the outskirts he portrays himself as dad of the year , a wonderful dad to daughters. There is so much more I could say. I just don’t know what to do anymore

I feel like this experience has mentally scarred me and the idea of going back with my son once he has left and navigating work/ upcoming recession/ my own mental health is so overwhelming. Plus mourning the person I thought he was and the relationship that at the start was what I thought my dream 😞😞😞I have started counselling and have had a couple of sessions so far. I also have supportive friends and parents. I just don’t know where to start though I’m so scared. Plus not sleeping or eating properly

You need to report all of his threats to the police. You need their assistance in getting rid of him.

I feel mortified that as a 41 year old mum things have come to this. And that I was so scared to be alone that I would rather have been in a volatile emotionally abusive relationship just to have someone around. That feels pathetic of me 😞Luckily my son is unscathed as most of the incidents occurred when he wasn’t around and my ex was never horrible to him. I feel like I will never trust another man again and the idea of ever entering into another relationship feels horrendous to me. I’ve now had two long term relationships that have ended so badly that I feel that I must be Mentally flawed