Stay or go?

[RockHardPlacee]

Not got anyone to talk to about this in real life so thought I’d try here….
Left my wife last year and started seeing someone 3 or 4 months later (definitely not the reason for the marriage break down) and we’ve been together for the past 6 months or so. She’s all in, proper in love, says I get her like no other man does etc etc

All was going well until something happened last Sunday that has kind of given me the ‘ick’ and I don’t know what do do now. She sent me a flirty message that didn’t make sense and said she was pissed and got confused with who she was texting but it was meant for me.

I believe her but it kinda popped the loved up bubble we were in for me. It’s left me feeling like I want to be by myself and concentrate on my own life without having to consider and be involved with a woman.

She’s lovely, a bit wild and I genuinely enjoy being with her. Sex has also been fantastic, maybe the best I’ve had. But just not sure I want to be in a proper heavy long-term relationship so soon after splitting from my wife. I don’t want to be that emotionally involved, but then again I really like her!

Her sending a drunken message to you made you realise you don't want a relationship? Had you not considered that before, you're 6 months in, nearly a year post divorce and only just noticed?

It sounds like you've rushed into this and now you realise she loves you and isn't going anywhere you're panicking

@Carrieonmywaywardsun Kinda like it’s reminded me yeh. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, she found and pursued me and I was happy to go along with it as she’s great.

Yeh, maybe I am panicking that it’s turning into something properly long term and I’m not sure I’m ready for that.

Talk to her, tell her you're struggling with the prospect of future commitment and need to slow things down. Or you can break up with her and take time to heal and move on healthily

Your old threads mention you had a husband, and your ex was your wife? 2 divorces are a lot to get over, you really should take time to deal with that

Not me - unless I forgot about liking men and getting married the first time! Name changed for this thread.

I will, and slowing it down might be the way forward. One of the nice things we’ve got it we're very open with each other about this kind of thing and this’ll be another.

just hate this relationship angst stuff, had years of it in my marriage and was sick of it. Maybe it’s me, just never happy!

I'm sure she'd appreciate you being open, you don't have to slam the breaks on but let her know you want to be more careful. I was the same when I first met my husband, we threw ourselves into the relationship and about 6 months in I asked him to slow things down, take more time for ourselves etc. and it really helped us.

How often do you see each other, and talk? Have you met each other's friends, family etc?

And honestly some people are just angsty! But as long as you communicate your concerns and she can too, you can work it out