Finding love again when you least expected it - please give me hope

[Jiopph]

35, single mum to 3yo after ex left earlier this year. Broke my heart. I’m not ready to date but would love to have some hope. Feel really sad.

There's hope!!

I was married at 17, had 6 DC with him. He got into drugs and drank to much. He ended up being emotionally, physically and sexually abusive towards me. He cheated on me countless times and the last 5 years of the marriage were pure hell! It got to the point I was feeling suicidal and wanted out. Everyone was saying I can break up my childrens family. But it was either break up the marriage or I didn't know how much longer I could cope. I was about to turn 30, my youngest was in full time school, I was sat at home staring at the walls slowly going insane. I finally told him it was over going against everyone's advice. Not sure how I would be able to afford life or anything.

I thought that was me done for love. Who would want a 30 year old with 6 kids? Fully set out to be a crazy cat lady until my kids grew up and then try again.

Covid hit and I got bored. I have the children full time and he occasionally sees them on the weekend for few hours. So I joined OLD as a distraction in the evenings after the kids went to bed as homeschool was so hard on my own. I "met" some real weirdos was about to give up and delete hinge when I got a message from someone who was just so normal, we talked for ages through messages. He never crossed the line, when we finally met in person we genuinely listened to music and talked all night and he asked if he could kiss me at the end of the night. Fast forward to now, we have a 8 month old baby, just bought a house and getting married in 33 days. He is an INCREDIBLE step dad to my children. They adore him and is wonderful with them.

I honestly thought I was destined to be a single mum and cougar for the rest of my life! Don't give up hope. X

My friend just met a man in the supermarket! Talk about unexpected. She seemed to be resolutely single so definitely wasn’t looking for it. Within a week she’s totally loved up.

Take your time, grieve and heal, it may take many more months. Then once you’re feeling more like your old self you’ll be in a better place whatever comes. I’m 9 months on from a tough break up and only just beginning to feel ok again

Yes, the reality is that you can and probably will meet and love somebody new.

But in the meantime, I'd be questioning myself on why that was so important to me, when re-gaining my independence and having a fulfilling single life is so important prior to any relationship.