well he came to stay over

[TLV]

was supposed to be spending a bit more time with dd (suggested by counsellor) was going to sleep on the sofa, anyway i was going to cook which i never got round to and we ended up drinking a wine listening to music and sleeping together (not sure what i was thinking) anyway this time round he didn't use a condom and was quite affectionate, we both agreed in between it all that we didn't want the night to end ie coz it felt so good. I'm not building up my hopes and we didn't discuss the divorce. I really don't understand him, he was ok with me this morning and it felt right him being back home (he even said last night how are we going to explain this to the counsellor)

How many people who separate actually end up sleeping together?? a good friend of mine is going through something similar (no kids) and she said they haven't even they still love each other.

bump

Sorry, I don't know your background, but my advice would be - don't try and second guess him, ask him.

In my experience, (certainly plenty of threads on here would bear it out) a lot of separated couples fall back in to bed a few times, and sadly the woman tends to think it means something, whereas to the man - they're still separating but he gets a shag. Sorry to be blunt. It might not be that way in your case, but you'll only know for sure if you talk it through with him.

scared to talk about it but think i could bring it up in the counselling session, he is coming back to stay again I think. What gets me tho is that he knows I still love him, want him back and I suppose i would like to think that he wouldn't be so callous as to use me like that (but i could just be being naive)

Hi TVL

I think it is quite common if people would admit it. Do tell the cousellor though as it might make him be a bit more truthful.

I know you want it all to be ok again - and you may be looking for possitive signs.

Whilst me and h were not living together he would try and woo me into bed and was very charming - gifts and letters etc but the ow was always on the scence (althouth i only know that now).

So i would say be cautious and dont do anything you could regret - he could be as confussed as you at the moment and not even being truthful to himself.

Anyway good luck and i am thinking of you

well i'm certainly not going to contact him, he is going to ring me to arrange sitting for dd this week, I don't want him to think i'm putting pressure on him at all, I'm trying not to take too much from it, was lovely having him here again and it was nice for dd to have him here this morning

You could contact him and just say - how lovely it was and it felt right too. (if there is another woman on the scene she might even find the text and give him a hard time too.

He needs to know that he cannot just treat you nicely when he wants without all the hasstle.

Dont be afraid to tell him you still love him and want him back as that is the truth after all.

I just feel that if he thinks he can do that without the 'strings' it will be a regular thing and you will get even more hurt in the long run.

well he called to apologise for last night eh!?!?! but he was different when speaking to me not cold and detached as before, when i asked him how he felt this morning when he woke up he said confused and when I asked if he regretted it he didn't answer, he thinks the counsellor suggested him staying as it may get us back together (i had thought this too) i told him we need to discuss it at the next session, think he is going to stay over again well depends on dd and how she settles over the next few days, i'm not going to contact him and i'll wait and see what he does (can't do anymore really) going to get on with my week tho