Newly single parent in Ireland. How will I cope financially?

[innerstrengthagain]

My ex only
Contributes approx10% of our kids expenses.
Are there any supports available to
Me please?
I'm too embarrassed to go to
My social welfare office.
Two teens and one preteen.

School, medical and dental costs are crippling me and their Dad won't share these costs with me.
Thanks for reading.

On 65k you wouldn't be entitled to anything. It's an incredibly difficult transition though, I hope your bosses are sympathetic. Can they give you a bit of space to sort things out. Can you get a cheaper car. I'm a single parent and I ''managed'' over the years by not having a car.

Op I live in ireland and to be honest 3500 a month plus 650 maintenance plus 420 childrens allowance is over 4500k a month....you will get single parents credit which will bring your income up by about 2k a year.You say your fuel costs are 440 a month...you may want to move closer to work because unless your driving something with massive engine power you must be travelling over 2000 km a month to use that much diesel. I don't understand how your struggling on that wage

On that salary very unlikely you are entitled to anything from welfare unless your kids fit criteria for DCA. However, are you claiming all your tax credits such as the single parent one or check if your children meet criteria for the Incapacitated child tax credit.

For those thinking €65k in Ireland would be plenty…..depending on where your living the housing cost alone is crippling and costs of everything are skyrocketing at the moment. It’s not like you can move into a house share to cut costs when you have three children.

Can you downsize? You should apply for a GP card as well. Are your kids in private schools?

I work in an Intreo office and even at the end of the EO scale, the salary is 52,894 (approx, depending on whether you're pre or post 95). The COs, even if they've been there years will not be on more than €41,483.00.

So that would leave only the HEOs who would be on more money than the OP and even then, only if they'd been HEO for years. There might be two or three HEOs in the building and they won't be at the counter. Only EOs and COs go on the counter.

That's not to say that if you came to the counter the staff would not be really sympathetic to you on a personal level.

You wouldn't be entitled to working family payment either.

I really hope that this doesn't sound unsympathetic but I'd look at getting a cheaper to run smaller car, maybe moving? or renting out a room to a student?

If the house has a joint mortgage is ex paying his share even though he's not living there?

You will have to face facts sooner or later. If you cannot afford to buy him out, you will have to sell for him to get his share of the equity, although you may be able to live there until the kids grow up. Not sure.

I won't waste any more of your time as I am not that clued in on these matters no matter the country, but wish you well.

OP, how much does your ex earn?

I feel this must be a troll post, I live in Ireland and that's a very generous salary, we have a pretty decent social welfare system compared to other countries but on that wage you will not be entitled to much, if anything at all. Time to budget instead of looking for assistance, change your car to something cheaper to run etc.

You’ll also be getting another €320 per month in child benefit…

@Doggydarling the op could have a very high mortgage to pay. I'm divorced myself but very luckily was able to buy my ex out of the family home as it was during the last bust cycle. There is no way I could afford to do that now.

Most couples when buying a house will get a mortgage based on both salaries. If you have a lifestyle based on two salaries it’s a big shock to suddenly be down to one salary. Things like selling the home and either downsizing or changing locations takes time and is a huge upheaval for kids who could be very happy and settled in the local schools, clubs and activities. Moving locations can also lead to longer commutes or a struggle to get kids to and from school.
OP will have indeed get through this but I can see why it feels like such a daunting task right now.

I dont think it's a troll post!
If a couple on 130 the pair of them got a mortgage based on 3.5 x 130 that is €455
OP is now trying to fund a mortgage based on two salaries.

If I were her I'd take out a small loan from cu to fund the " life transition" from couple to single parent.

Op can move and get cheaper car but moving costs.