Day off work today… going to be hard

[Lucelove]

Hi! I already have a thread on here explaining what’s happened.
But my partner left me on Thursday and has cut all contact. I spent all weekend with friends and family in the sun and kept super busy, even though it still hurt like hell at least I was busy and not alone.
I had work yesterday, but I have Tuesdays off and no plans, no one to speak to. Just me alone feeling sick and heartbroken, and climbing the walls.
I know what people will say, go on a walk etc and do something to treat yourself. I will take my dog on a big walk soon but I don’t understand how it will feel better. I was thinking about going getting my nails done but I can’t stop crying for more than 5 minutes at a time! I don’t really fancy an awkward salon experience.
I just want to speak to him, and it kills me that I can’t

It seems impossible now, but it WILL become easier. You'll start not thinking of him for a minute, then an hour, then a day, and without you realising the pain will become less and less intense. One day he'll just be a memory. Keep busy, do something that is not difficult but takes lots of time (painting walls is good). All the best OP!

I found that exercise helped. Either running or swimming. It didn’t really make me feel better but it distracted me for a while.

It’s OK to just sit and wallow too. It’s all really fresh so it’s completely normal to cry, shout, scream and generally feel awful for a while.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’ve been there and it’s devastating but you will heal in time. Try to be kind to yourself ❤

I second swimming. I went twice a day when I was heartbroken some years ago. There's something very soothing about being in the water and using your body.

Think of every mean thing he did or said to you and then be grateful for the lovely peace and quiet and ability to do / eat exactly what you want to when you want to... Aaah, bliss!

I didnt read your previous post and dont know thr ins and outs of the break up.

Exercise, hydrate and eat.
Keep a diary and write down how you are feeling.

Each time you feel like speaking to him, reread how he made you feel, thst should put an end to those thoughts.

I don’t think anything too physical would be too great for me right now as I haven’t really eaten since Thursday, don’t know how I’m functioning tbh! All I ate yesterday was half a bag of cashews and a milkshake to try and get some calories in. I’ve tried to force some toast down this morning but I physically can’t. Also haven’t been sleeping for more than a couple of hours a night, although last night was my best sleep so far

'You've got to get under, to get over'.
People will disagree but get yourself on the dating apps, anything to distract. You're not looking for a husband, just someone to distract and make you realise there's plenty more fish in the sea.

Snagging someone else while you are vulnerable and upset isn't the best advice. I doubt that would do much for one's self confidence.

People often say do something nice, but tbh, I think doing something that makes you work hard is better. Having your nails done just gives you more time to think, just in a different location.

Run, swim, do diy...

Doesn't matter really that you haven't eaten, sure you won't be as quick as normal, but that's not the point. It's to feel something else. And hopefully tire yourself put enough that you can sleep.

I remember feeling like this - so hard. A long walk will help. Can you get out to the seaside today or the countryside - the fresh air will do you good. this time will pass…

My stbxh has taken this approach just two weeks after us splitting up. I found him on a dating website and that's how we've split up so it shouldn't be a surprise really. I am still gutted and very angry but with you op, heartbreak is just horrible

I'll go against the grain here and say just spend a day at home, watch rubbish TV, order in something you might be able to eat and actually just cry it all out.

Holding it in and soldiering on means it will just all flood out on a different day. Just acknowledge you sadness and give into it for the day, it will hurt but you can't brush it aside like it doesn't matter.

There will be other days for DIY and exercise when you are feeling a little better.

I agree with @redandyellowbits . You don't have to do anything. Just rest, cry, watch mindless TV and try to eat.
I read your previous post and I know you were worried about work, but you did it ! Take one day at a time.
You're allowed to feel sad.
Look after yourself @Lucelove

Crisps. I basically survived on crisps, whilst sitting on the sofa under a duvet watching Parks and Recreations.

Cry away. It's OK to cry. Something horrid has happened.

Also, medication. I was starting to really not cope, so I spoke to the doctor and got some medication. It kept me able to function when I needed to.

You are me in 2013. It is horrible, but you will get through it. Don’t throw yourself into the dating scene. You are vulnerable and this will only be a disaster. Be kind to yourself, spend lots of time with friends and family, get counseling if you need it and go at your own pace.

Morning OP. So far you sound like you are coping really well with a very difficult situation. There's no pain like heartache in my opinion, it hurts! From experience I agree with others that have suggested just doing nothing really. A day of no pressure or timetable. Do what you need right now - long bath, face mask, mindless TV, read a book, grab some magazines and some good quality tea/coffee/hot chocolate to have at home, have a sleep if you can etc. Sounds like you've been on auto pilot a bit to self protect. Shock is wearing off now and reality kicking in so look after yourself, no expectations. Keep chatting on here, this has really helped me in the past. Sorry you are going through this .💐

Can I ask why you broke up? I’ve read your other threads and apart from attributing it to ‘a little fight’, you haven’t said. Also (and I apologise if you’ve already said), how long were you together?

I would suggest you do what you feel like doing, even if it means sobbing for the whole day. It means that you have started this awful grieving process. You cant block it for long. The quicker you can face this pain the better. Accept today will be a challenge and rise to it. I lived off chocolate milk shakes for the first few weeks when I was unceremoniously dumped as I just couldn't eat. Its like withdrawing from a drug and its going to be painful for some time. You will get over this in time. You will be in a much better place too one day.

Watch a comforting tv series, something you've watched before and eat comfort food. It doesn't matter if you sit and just cry - good to just get it out. It's absolutely horrible but you will get over it xxx

It’s just so hard, sat here contemplating if it’s too early for a wine! I just don’t see how it can get any better. We were together for 2 years, we had arguments here and there like everyone does, but nothing huge. He’s said we are good friends, but don’t work as partners. There really isn’t much more to the breakup than that x

@Lucelove , how's it going?

Not doing too great, but surviving. Even though my post was about not being able to cope on a day off work, I’ve actually ended up taking today and tomorrow off work and Wednesday I really struggled and had some what of a breakdown when I got home. Work were really understanding thankfully, and it gives me 4 days off to sort my head out before Monday.
I went for a long walk this morning and cried and cried, and then for the rest of the day I’ve felt a mix of okay and awful. I did eat something today although not much, so I’m proud of me for that x

Terrible advice