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Original poster

Husband bored of sex with me?

15 replies

100Elizabeth · 15/08/2022 18:04

Hi,

So me and my husband recently tried to conceive. He wasn't into it at all and I had to do most of the work. He is only 35. We have 4 kids and previously, before about 2 months ago, we had sex almost every week. It was fun, action-packed and awesome. What's happened? I confronted him but he walked off.

He's lovely in everything else but sex now. He told me he wanted another kid so I was trying to give it to him. I noticed on FaceBook he has joined a group that is inappropriate for married people. On his status he is single even though we have been together for 12 years and married for 8. He had a girlfriend before and a kid with her. He occasionally sees this child. His ex is very fit and hot. I am kinda intimadated. She's older than me though but sexier. I know she is single.

He is so bored of sex with me, I have tried everything. We still love each other though. He is great with the kids, kisses me but never more, cooks dinner, works hard ect. Am i not sexy enough now? What has changed in the last couple months?

Help!

OP posts:
Hira3 · 15/08/2022 18:07

Did he tell you hes bored of sex with you? Whats he doing to spice things up. Its should not all be on you.

Justcallmebebes · 15/08/2022 18:08

Are you sure he wants another child or is that what you want and he went along with it? No offence as I'm sure you're lovely, but If it risked a fifth, I wouldn't go near you either

vaingina · 15/08/2022 19:13

Another child? He’s already got 5!

userxx · 15/08/2022 19:16

vaingina · 15/08/2022 19:13

Another child? He’s already got 5!

This. Maybe the idea of baby number 6 isn't floating his boat.

Wombat27A · 15/08/2022 19:18

So you end up looking after 5 kids when he bogs off?

Great...

Wombat27A · 15/08/2022 19:18

Sounds like he's got an OW?

ShandaLear · 15/08/2022 20:10

Please stop trying to have another child with him. He’s clearly not into the idea and it sounds like he has checked out of your marriage.

LastWordsOfALiar · 15/08/2022 20:28

Without being personal, you are in a very vulnerable position already.

If he did cheat or leave you, could you survive financially? Do you work?

If you're having suspicions, I would advise you stop having kids (4 is enough for any family surely) and start thinking about returning to work. It will give you confidence, independence and assurance that if your partner leaves, you can go some way to looking after yourself and your kids.

Also, again this is only my view, but how can you give your existing kids the attention they require if you have another?! I struggle to give my 3 enough attention, let alone 4/5...

Cocoatheclown · 15/08/2022 20:29

Sounds like he doesn't want another child....

Runaround50 · 15/08/2022 20:34

Don't have any more kids!
Focus on you, as he doesn't sound too trustworthy in my view.

Fivemoreminutesinbed · 15/08/2022 22:12

I think most people would be put off sex when you already have four kids.

MsDogLady · 15/08/2022 22:42

Elizabeth, it sounds like he is looking elsewhere.

*Has suddenly detached from your intimate life.

*Told you he wanted to TTC, but after you agreed he became disengaged from that goal.

*Walked away when you tried to discuss his changed behavior.
*Has joined a FB group that is inappropriate for a married person, and is identifying himself as single.

He is not “lovely” when he dismisses and stonewalls you, or when he pretends to be single on inappropriate FB groups. That is unacceptable, Elizabeth. Why are you tolerating this faithless, disloyal behavior?

MsDogLady · 16/08/2022 00:28

You worry that he is bored with your sex life, so you’ve been doing the pick-me dance. Please stop that, Elizabeth. Whatever he’s up to isn’t about anything you have or haven’t done. It’s all about him and his feeling entitled to advertise himself as a single guy for illicit validation. That is a betrayal.

You also have a current thread on baby names. I would rethink TTC, as your H is investing outside your marriage, and he is not being respectful or transparent when you try to discuss your relationship. Bringing a new baby into this unstable situation would be very unwise.

It is troubling that he has a 5th child whom he only sees “occasionally.” Why is that? Does he financially support this child? Was he/she born before or during your relationship?

Original poster
100Elizabeth · 16/08/2022 10:02

Thank you everyone! I work and have enough money to support the kids. I really think I need to find out what happened in the last few months. I will persist on him with FaceBook stuff.

MsDogLady, his other child was born before we met. He doesn't financially support this child much, just sometimes school uniform and of course birthdays. The kid's mother is very wealthy. He only sees the child occasionally because that family lives so far away and i think the mother is mad at him, but is that changing?

Anyway, yes I would be fine financially without him. But i do love him. I am going to ask to go through all this social medias. I don't want a cheating husband but I don't want 4 kids to grow up dad-less.

Thanks again,
E

OP posts:
Naunet · 16/08/2022 11:54

100Elizabeth · 16/08/2022 10:02

Thank you everyone! I work and have enough money to support the kids. I really think I need to find out what happened in the last few months. I will persist on him with FaceBook stuff.

MsDogLady, his other child was born before we met. He doesn't financially support this child much, just sometimes school uniform and of course birthdays. The kid's mother is very wealthy. He only sees the child occasionally because that family lives so far away and i think the mother is mad at him, but is that changing?

Anyway, yes I would be fine financially without him. But i do love him. I am going to ask to go through all this social medias. I don't want a cheating husband but I don't want 4 kids to grow up dad-less.

Thanks again,
E

So if he leaves you, he’s unlikely to see his kids much, do any parenting, or provide for them? Yeah, you should definitely have a 5th child with a man like that, FFS.

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