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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Reconnected with a guy from high school, not sure what to do next

1 reply

NCforthisquestiononly · 15/08/2022 16:07

Hi all, I am a regular here but I have NCed as I am concerned this post together with my posting history could be outing in case anyone here knows me IRL.

Last week I randomly received a Facebook message from a guy I went to middle and high school with. We are both 32 now and we hadn't talked to each other in 13 years! He just moved back to our hometown recently with a remote job and I live somewhere else 6 hours by car away. I was visiting our hometown for the week so I was there too when he messaged.

We started chatting for a few days and we ended up going out for a drink. We had some pretty deep conversations and it turns out the had a secret crush on me for years back then. I had no idea! He even remembers a bunch of details about me and some interactions we had back in high school which I had no recollection of 😬

Eventually we ended up sleeping together, which is a very rare occurrence for me. He asked me when I was going to be back in our hometown again, but I said that I wasn’t sure (this was before we had sex though). He left at 3 am and the next day (which was two days ago) he messaged again with a joke on something we had discussed the previous night, but then he let the convo die after a few funny exchanges. He's been single 6 months and is not sure if he is going to remain in our hometown or move elsewhere in the next few months.

Am I correct in assuming that it was likely just a one off thing for him and now he is not interested in seeing me again? I am debating if I should reach out in a couple of weeks to let him know what I will be in town again in a month and that I’d like to see him again. Or maybe I should just move on and forget about this thing altogether?

Am I being delusional here? I am usually pretty good at remaining realistic with online dating, but the fact that he is someone from my past I think is throwing me off a little and clouding my judgment here.

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 15/08/2022 16:12

I think he saw it as a nice catch up and some sex with an old acquaintance. You live several hours away, I don’t think he was anticipating you might see a potential relationship on the cards. If you’d like to have him as an FWB on the occasions you’re back in town, let him know when you are next - it can work well, DP and I each have old friends we have this sort of relationship with when we’re in particular parts of the world and it’s nice. I wouldn’t reconnect, though, if you’re hoping it’s going to turn into the love story of the century.

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