Hi All
I really need some advice.
My husband and I have been married almost 3 years and we have a 19mo. We've been together 10 years plus.
My husband has has a history of dealing with arguements/disagreements by shutting down and ignoring me. I used to tolerate it before we had children as they were only here and there and work stress brought them on although I was made out to be the problem.
Now our Daughter is in the picture, enough is enough.
95% of our lives is great, he's there he's caring he's amazing. He has recently taken on a promotion following a secondment, prior to this we sat down and I said some of my terms of you accepting this job is that you communicate and treat me with respect during tough times whether it be work or marriage or child related. As at one point during the secondment before the promotion he was horrible to me for three weeks on and off - this is why I tried to address the issue in a calm and collective manner at the right time rather than adding fuel to an emotional fire.
Anyway, yesterday we had a family day or tried to. Greatgrandparents, grandparents, the lot - celebrating a 90th birthday. Our daughter became so stressed and upset as she was tired, hadn't slept well or napped and my husband became quickly frustated. He kept snapping at me, he dented his car against my car by accident when our daughter was being wriggly trying to get her in the car. So he stormed off and took her home. He snapped at me because I got confused over a rota. All for which I've apologised. He promised my parents a family holiday and is now saying he doesn't want to go as I will put my parents first (who may I add do help us out alot) so he has put me in a huge predicament.
I usually take things lying down for the quiet life but I have stood up to him today saying he needs to communicate and be respectful to me like we've discussed instead of swearing and snapping. He's also put words in my mouth saying he's going to find a hotel.
Not sure where to take things now. He cannot deal with his emotions healthily and I have tried to explain this to him.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.