I made a v good friend since my ds and her ds were in nursery. Over the years the two ds were good friends and our families became close. We would we even text each other everyday - sometimes several times sharing everything. However, 3 months ago, my teenage ds unexpectedly passed away.
Since then my friend has barely contacted me. I have met with her once since and she told me then how upset she was over my ds, that she had to take a week off work to grieve and that she didn't want to talk about anything to do with my ds as she was 'done with crying' over my ds and had 'no more tears left'.
I understand that people react differently to loss and that they cannot talk about it. However, I find it so hard that she will not even message me to find out how I am or arrange a meetup like we used to. It is always down to me to initiate contact, and although she responds, her responses seem very stilted and not the same as it used to be - both in terms of frequency and tone. In the last 3 months, we have only met twice - one of which was at my ds' funeral.
I have other friends who have been incredible - who regularly check in with me and who have been amazing with their support and they were not at all as close as my other friend. I have really appreciated their love and support throughout what has been and still is the most painful time of my life.
I just wish that my good friend would be the same as my other friends - but I feel like she is avoiding me and would rather I stayed away or maybe she just doesn't want to be reminded of my ds (which I also find painful). I also feel let down by her, especially since the recent loss of my ds, the support of my friends has been vital. FWIW I have told her how much other friends have helped - but I guess she feels she is unable to do anything. How can I come to terms with this? The last thing I want to do is un-necessarily upset her.