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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Will this feeling end?

3 replies

Confused301283 · 14/08/2022 20:57

So after a breakup earlier this year from my partner of 16years with whom I share a mortgage and have two beautiful children, I am finding life hard. The last few years where really not healthy I was made to feel so small called names, pushed around and generally belittled. Our sex life was practically non existent for over a year and I did try a lot and started to think there must be something wrong with me.as we spent no time together anymore or anything.
I then found out early this year he had formed a relationship with some one else and he never seemed to care at all how this made me feel, as you can imagine this knocked my self esteem quite a lot.
Few month down the line he still try’s to control what I do even though we are not together I can not fully block him out as he is the father to my children but this makes my life hard to live he even tells me how I’m live he is with this other person, but then says if I get someone else he would hurt them.
I really want to feel confident again and learn to trust others and hopefully find love again, but I just feel so worthless and like I don’t deserve any happiness.

OP posts:
Annabananna1 · 14/08/2022 21:10

Reduce contact to absolute minimum. There does not need to be any conversation other than when children will be collected/ returned / important issues regarding kids. At this point you can't have a 'friendly' relationship it's too soon and he is not behaving well.

GreyCarpet · 14/08/2022 23:18

Agree with reducing contact to a minimum. Ignore anything else. Don't talk to him about your private life amd don't listen to him about his. Don't spend enough time in communication with him for it to even come up.

And, when you do feel ready to date, it's literally none of his business. He doesn't need to know. Tell him nothing.

He can only make you feel as bad as you let him. He can fuck off, right?

GreyCarpet · 14/08/2022 23:19

And, in answer to you title question, it will end when you choose to feel differently about it all. And that's all there is too it.

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