Struggling with breakup

[Lucelove]

Hi!
just want to vent really!
my partner left me on Thursday, I’ve left the house that night and I am currently living on my mums sofa. I am dreading Monday as I am now facing a 5 hour round commute to my job, which is back where I lived with him. The commute will kill me (as well as costing a fortune) and then instead of coming home to my house I come back to the sofa at my mums.

I’m 27, and I know that so many people will say I’m still so young, but I just feel like my life has fell apart and I feel pathetic.

i’ve already sorted viewings for flats to rent around the area we lived in which I will just about manage to afford, I loved the area and love my job and have friends there. But although I will feel better once I’m out of my mums and in my own place, will I actually feel better? I’ve never lived alone, and I feel like it may send me even more under (if that’s possible).

I just feel like sh!t, how can life go from being so perfect and happy and then suddenly become how it is now? I don’t want to sound hard done by, I know I am lucky to have a place to stay, and I know this is a normal thing and lots of people go through similar situations.

I love him so much and want to be with him, but he’s made it clear not to contact him and I would never beg. Missing him and wanting him and hurting so much is the worst part of the situation. I just want my phone to ping with a message from him and it kills me waiting for something that will probably never come. But I know I need to focus on sorting out my situation.

I haven’t slept since Thursday night, all I do is lie on the sofa and cry. Currently lay on the sofa with a glass of wine and watching gogglebox, just feeling the lowest I have ever felt. How and when does this get better? I don’t know the purpose of this thread other than to get some advice and hopefully be reassured and uplifted. I don’t like to vent like this to family or friends because I don’t want them to worry, I just put on a brave face and say that I’m fine.

thanks for reading my heartbroken ramble xxx

Bless you... sending a big hug...It gets better and you'll be ok. It takes time.
Try to focus on yourself and give yourself some love, care and attention. You need to help and heal the girl within.
Stop berating yourself, it didn't work out for whatever reason. Better you found out now than later.
There is a wonderful man out there for you, you'll find him when it's time.
Maybe see if you can rent a room in a house with others rather than live on your own. That way there'll be some banter and friendship in your home.
Could you stay with friends during the week as they're nearer work and then come to your Mum’s on the weekend?

Thank you for your response <3 there are a lot of house shares in the area but I don’t think I’d like living with strangers and sharing kitchen/living space etc. I did that at uni and had a great time but I don’t think I could do that again lol.
my friends in the area who I could potentially stay with are both in relationships and one has kids, and I don’t just want to be a burden in their home and wouldn’t want to ask tbh. I’ve looked at air bnb and hotels but the ones available are extortionate and would cost more than the mortifying amount I will be spending on petrol. I am just hoping I can try to deal with the situation for now and have a flat for myself asap x

Would it help to talk about what happened on Thursday?

Are you sure a female only perhaps houseshare wouldn't work out?

I mean yes you share a kitchen but you also share wine and stories and go to the pub together. Perhaps a surprise kick back into the world of young free single women is just what you need.