He’s left me at 14 weeks

MintJulia · 13/08/2022 11:37

Yes. But it takes time.

Try to focus on creating a lovely environment for your child. Prepare, save if you can, plan for your maternity leave.
Do you have support from family or friends? Perhaps look for an NCT group when the time comes. Focus on you and baby, and leave your anger at your ex until afterwards. Don't let it taint your pregnancy if you can help it. I know it's hard x

touchedout2022 · 13/08/2022 11:39

Fkelley · 13/08/2022 11:32

14 weeks pregnant and he left two weeks ago, not heard a word. He was struggling with the idea of parenthood (accident). Had been together 3 years, talked endlessly about a family which we planned for 2 years time. I can’t terminate as I’m 36 in January and feel like it would be a mistake. I am devastated I loved the bones of the man. Has anyone else successfully got through this? I can’t eat or sleep.

I am so sorry this has happened to you. My ex left me at 6 weeks pregnant and it was very hard going through the pregnancy alone , it took time but I got through it so you can too . Look after yourself and you baby . He might just need time for the news to sink in .

Don't chase or beg him as hard as that sounds, make yourself busy as much as you can

Original poster

Fkelley · 13/08/2022 11:42

I can’t cope at all. @touchedout2022 unfortunately I’ve spent the last two weeks begging. Last night I deleted his number because I needed to stop.

I am just absolutely devastated. I don’t know how he can do this. I feel like I’ve not slept for days and my friends are saying I should focus on myself like it’s that easy. I’ve just lost the man I loved and my idea of what our family would be.

OP posts:

ElephantePicante · 13/08/2022 11:47

In the kindest way, and I truly mean this kindly, you have to pull your socks up and get a grip. He isn't coming back but that baby is coming and needs you to be a healthy mum. Start eating, rest and get some early nights, you're growing a tiny person who will be the most important person in your world. He is just a man. I know it doesnt feel that way right now. But he really is just a man.

Original poster

Fkelley · 13/08/2022 11:53

@ElephantePicante i don’t think I’ve ever felt so alone. I’m terrified and sad. I actually don’t know how to pick myself up from this at all.

im desperate to get in touch but after literally being in touch non stop I can’t do it anymore. The blanking me was too painful. I feel like I’ve given up when I should be trying harder for my baby but I just can’t do it.

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romdowa · 13/08/2022 11:53

It's gutting that he panicked and walked away but it's also a pretty dick move. What kind of arsehole does that , can you really love the bones of a man who would leave you at one of the most vulnerable times in your life? You need to re frame this in your mind. He's not a nice guy and you don't need him. You need to be strong now for yourself and your baby.

Original poster

Fkelley · 13/08/2022 11:55

@romdowa he is a panicker himself and doesn’t cope well, I haven’t really thought too much about what he’s done to me as it’s too painful. When I think about it I realise that he’s probably broken us now anyway, but that just makes me feel worse in a way as there’s no coming back from it.
If I wasn’t pregnant I would never forgive this.

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xttcbabyno1x · 13/08/2022 12:04

You've done nothing wrong in this situation. He needs to step up and sort himself out. Your main focus now needs to be you and your baby x

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 13/08/2022 12:08

I agree with @romdowa he has shown you the worst of himself and whilst you want to understand that he is not a good person for you. Think of it like that

ElephantePicante · 13/08/2022 12:10

You absolutely can and will cope. Good riddance to someone who could do this to you at the most vulnerable time, you don't need someone like that in your life. Cry as much as you need to, lean on family and friends for support. But you will get through this. What is your financial situation/housing etc like?

youllneverknow · 13/08/2022 12:18

ElephantePicante · 13/08/2022 11:47

In the kindest way, and I truly mean this kindly, you have to pull your socks up and get a grip. He isn't coming back but that baby is coming and needs you to be a healthy mum. Start eating, rest and get some early nights, you're growing a tiny person who will be the most important person in your world. He is just a man. I know it doesnt feel that way right now. But he really is just a man.

This...
The 'love of my life' left me in the early stages of my pregnancy and I was totally devastated. It took one of my best friends to basically say the above to me and I did what she said. It was hard but I got through it and now i have an amazing 11 year old. The strength this baby will give you will amaze you...
There have been tough times but it really has been the making of me and I would go through it all again to have my daughter.
You really can do this even though it doesn't feel like it at the moment. Sending virtual hugs 💐