Am I wrong here?

[Heartsofoldenglory]

My ex h is terrible when it comes to using his mobile phone whilst driving and I don’t mean on calls, he checks messages etc, he has hands free for calls but just will not wait til he is stopped to check messages. He can do as he pleases when he is by himself but I’m trying to really stamp down when he takes the kids in his car. Our youngest has had to remind him to take his phone off his knee, he argued back that the cover was closed so he was doing no harm. So why have it on your knee whilst driving then? Only one intention there. He makes out that I’m the problem but fails to see the effect it has on the kids. I want them to be and feel safe. Has anyone else had similar experience with this, it’s really annoyed me as I am really careful on the roads, my kids lives are far more valuable than any of his work messages (own business) I hate who he is these days. No respect for anyone. I don’t want the kids to turn out like that.

What he's doing is against the law.

But the phone issue is a symptom, not the problem.

I hate who he is these days. No respect for anyone

That's the problem. What's the rest of your relationship like, when he's not illegally on his mobile in the car?

my kids lives are far more valuable than any of his work messages

Absolutely. And so are the lives of anyone else he could so easily kill or disable. It’s not about having hands free, it’s about not having his full attention on driving and his surroundings.

I know it’s illegal as does he but he still thinks it’s ok. Its so frustrating. He has been a great provider but has always been quite selfish in terms of his time. He could do what he wanted to do when it pleased him because he worked hard and if I dared complain then I was in the wrong. Apparently just wanting a normal family life is wrong, he always wanted to be better than anyone else. He doesn’t do fixed time with kids and when he does have them it’s all about the fun stuff and shopping. Been with him for 28 years although lived apart for 5 and now I’m nothing to him, apart from the kids whom I’d never be without, it just feels like a big chunk of my life wasted. I just want to make sure they are safe when with him.

I know it’s illegal as does he but he still thinks it’s ok

Yes, sorry, I was responding to your thread title. You can't be wrong. A court of law would be on your side!

I read your post as if you were still together, my apologies. You must feel very frustrated by his behaviour.

I agree with you almost completely. But I strongly disagree with the comment that he can do what he likes when he is by himself. It is not only your and your kids lives that matter you know!

When he is in a car on the road he is not “by himself”.

I meant it in that I can’t have any say in what he does on his own, we are not together anymore therefore nothing I say it’s taken note of, I’m just accused of nagging and being so perfect and law abiding. It’s a disgusting attitude that he has, but what exactly can I do to stop him?