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Original poster

Sexual health

7 replies

twoqueens · 12/08/2022 20:42

I've been casually sleeping with a man for a year or so about once a week when we are both free. He has now told me that he's started sleeping with other people.

This is fine, our arrangement was always Fwb/fb and we get on well and the sex is nice. We are in our 40's.

I would like to sleep with other guys, I have had a couple ons in the last year, but I'd like to date more, and hopefully have more sex as I'm not massively experienced in that area as I've always had long monogamous faithful relationships in the past ( lots and lots of sex, but only each other!)

How do we (or I) handle the sexual health side. The Fwb/fb has shown me a fairly recent text showing he is all clear, but I know he's had sex with 2 other women since then.
We use condoms always, but I'm a bit wary of oral sex now because there's not really any protection against STIs (oral sex with condoms is not something I can bother with).

I would like to relax during sex without having that concern running through my mind.

OP posts:
DropOfffArtiste · 12/08/2022 21:28

Well, if you are having unprotected (including oral) sex with several different people and so is he, you will be running some increased risks. There's no way around that. You and he can get tested regularly, but some things take a while to show up on a test anyway. So, you can either tolerate the increased risk, use condoms for oral sex as well or stop sleeping with him/others.

Original poster
twoqueens · 13/08/2022 01:39

I guess.

OP posts:
Featuredcreature · 13/08/2022 01:49

Std tests don't routinely test for everything, but I suppose you weigh up the risks. I can't say I have ever lost sleep over the risks of having unprotected oral sex, multitudes of things are likely to kill me first.

Mumnetter1234 · 13/08/2022 02:03

Can you just stop the oral sex side and continue with the regular side?

altmember · 13/08/2022 03:05

Either bother with condoms for oral or chance it. There is no safe way when you're all sleeping with multiple partners at the same time. Even condoms don't protect against everything so there's always a risk whenever you have sex with someone outside of a monogamous scenario.

Original poster
twoqueens · 13/08/2022 08:05

Ideally I would be in a monogamous relationship - but unfortunately that is very hard to find with a decent guy

OP posts:
DropOfffArtiste · 13/08/2022 08:15

You don't have to go along with FB's new plan, if that's not what you really want.

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