Should I??

[Jo245]

Good afternoon,

I posted this a few weeks back but didn't get any advice. I am looking for some advice please as I don't have anyone to talk to in real life about this.

About 7 years ago I met a guy, we went on a few dates and we drifted, although when either of us has needed help, we were always there for one another with general day to day tasks.

About 3 months after we stopped seeing each other, he got back with his ex. They then split around 6 months later and they went no contact. During their relationship he messaged me to say we have always had a connection and that he wouldn't ever connect with someone the same way. I told him that I couldn't discuss it further as I respected his partner although I didnt know her, I only knew of her, I still did not want to disrespect her behind her back as I would not like it if the shoe was on the other foot.

We have kept our friendship purely platonic over the last 7 years and check in from time to time with each other. However, he often says that any man would be lucky to have me and that i have a huge heart with a great personality, tells me im gorgeous and he doesnt know why we both stopped seeing each other.

I am newly single and he is also single, do you think i should bring the fact up that I like him the next time we speak? Or do you think you should never go back to your past.

I guess I'm just wondering if you would take the risk? Would this ruin the amazing friendship we have? We always laugh together and then when things arent great he is the first to always show up for me.

I wouldn’t. Not yet. Not if you’re newly single. It would be for the wrong reason(s) at the moment (an ego boost that you are still lovable perhaps?).

I can’t help feeling is/was keeping you on the backburner a bit when he got back with his ex so just tread cautiously. I’d also be wary of all the comments about “why did you two break up and you’re gorgeous and any man would be lucky to have you”. Lovely things to hear and I’m sure they are true but … just be careful of the Love Bomber striking when you’re feeling at your most vulnerable. I’m always wary of men who trot out lines like this (but I could just be projecting my own, past experience there).

And, just thought, him saying this stuff while he was with his ex/not ex is a bit flaggy for me. How did he react when you told him to back off with it?

Not saying don’t ever revisit your past, just pause and give it some breathing space for a while and take things slow.

7 years is a very long time. If it was meant to be wouldn’t it already have happened, properly?

I would. I'd rather regret doing something than forever thinking, 'what if?'

If it doesn't work out then at least you can be satisfied that you gave it a shot.