My partner broke up with me because he isn’t in love with me anynire

[Gracelou13]

I suppose what I’m looking for here is some reassurance.
Yesterday I was completely blindsided by my boyfriend telling me he isn’t in love with me anymore and is ending things. I moved away to be with him (he owns the house) and my job which I love is there and I was so happy there.
I ended up getting a late train back to my mums house last night where there is no room for me, I just laid on the couch and cried all night and haven’t slept.
I’m going to have to stay here for now, and that means leaving my job with no notice which breaks my heart, and also leaves me unemployed. I called in sick for today and in hindsight I should have told the truth, but I just couldn’t bear it. I don’t drive and it’s too far to commute, even if I got the train I would be over an hour late for work everyday.
I just don’t know what to do and I don’t know how this will be okay. I’m 27, which I know is still young, but I am so in love with him and less than 24 hours ago I thought my whole future was with him. Yet now he is gone and I am essentially homeless and jobless.

I really don’t want to sound pathetic even though I know I do, and I know I need to get a grip! But I just feel like I need some advice from people I don’t know, and if anyone has any of their own stories that will help me realise that this will be okay

thank you xxx

So he’s found someone else.
Move on, look for a new job and somewhere to live. This time next year you will be sorted, just keep moving forward into your new life.

I’m sorry, OP.

Can you find a room to rent near your work, even if just as a temporary measure?

Sorry to hear this. Could you take a week off sick this week and then rent somewhere near your work for a while - while you look for a new job?

Tell your work, book some leave, find a room to rent. Don't quit your job!

The relationship may be over, but don't throw your whole life away because of it.

I am so sorry you are going through this, what a terrible shock for you and you must be so very upset. Firstly you need to gather yourself as best as possible and talk to your work. You may be able to get some time off for now until you can reassess what your next move will be. Stay at your mums for now, look for new work near, even if you can do agency work to get through the first bit. Is there a chance you could move back to near or the place you used to live before you moved to your exes? You say you loved your job where you were, is there anyway it could be kept? Earlier train or learn to drive which I think is essential in this day and age. Jobs that people love are few and far between so trying to maintain it for now would be good for you. These are the practical things but you also need to grieve this awful time you are going through. Do you have friends and other close family to help you through this? I have been through something similar and it knocked me for six and was in shock for quite some time before I could function properly so know how very difficult this is for you. Sending virtual hugs to you.

When one door closes, another one will open. Just take things day by day, don't make any rash decisions, and you'll be fine. Look after yourself.

Perhaps if you explain the situation, work will let you come in late for a while until you find accommodation nearer place of work. I don' t think you should give up your job.

Don’t leave the job - negotiate for some leeway with time off or your start time if possible. Find a house share or room to rent somewhere. Get messaging your friends and see if anyone has anything. I know you want to sit around crying but if you can find somewhere then it’s only half a disaster and not a full disaster. Don’t let him ruin everything.

Don't leave your job without notice- you need a reference to get a new job.
As others have said- air b&b or room rental for the time being.
Why would you be an hour late for your job? Can you not take an earlier bus?

The earliest bus/train would make me late unfortunately, I start work at 7am and the earliest train is at 6:20. With the walk to work from the station I wouldn’t be there until around 8am

Can't you rent a flat/flat share near your job so you can carry on working there?

Or plenty of people commute..,

Tell work the truth. They might have a suggestion. Maybe you could find a lodger place Mon - Fri?
If you love your job, please don't quit it in haste. Good jobs are hard to find.

My friend takes in lodgers most weeks.
Sorry about the situation. Don't throw it all away for him.

Can you talk to them about a temporary change of hours until you can find a room to rent nearby?

You need to speak to your work. They may not be able to help, but you would be in no worse a situation, would you? They may be able to change your hours, they may know of someone looking for a lodger. I went through something similar many many years ago: I ended up staying with various colleagues until I got myself sorted out. You don't need to find somewhere perfect immediately: so long as it's handy for your work, you could start sorting yourself out over time. It's a shit situation to be in, but believe me, it will get better and you will get through it.

The best thing you can do right now is try and keep the job if you love it.

@KangarooKenny not fucking helpful and bullshit. People's feelings do change, through no fault to the OP or even the person. Stop trying to hurt the OP even more than she already is, based on your own, very subjective experience.

OP, be honest with your work. They may be able to change your hours or know of a flat share or juts give you space and reassurance. You can do this!!

I've had two friends who did this. Gave up jobs and homes to move in with men who ditched them eventually. It's a salutary tale. But they're both now happily married with small children. It'll work out in the end, but I'd recommend talking to your managers at work and seeing how they can support you particularly with finding short term accommodation, someone at work may be able to give you a room for a time. I'm sorry this happened.

I agree - don't lose your job as well as your home! You need an income while you're sorting yourself out and you say you love your job - so don't just walk out on it. Not only will you be left penniless, but you will need a reference from them to get a new one, so don't burn that bridge. Talk to HR or your manager if it's a small company without an HR department. Be honest about what's happened and see if you can find somewhere to stay near work temporarily while you get some rented accommodation sorted out.

Or he’s done what people say you should do in these situations. You know, not cheat, and be open and honest about how you’re feeling. As heartbreaking as it is for OP, he’s doesn’t actually appear to have done anything wrong.

Dating someone is very different to living with with them, and moving in together is always a big test of a relationship. There are times when it just highlights fundamental incompatibilities between people, for either one or both parties.

As painful as it is, in the long run he’s done you a favour. It’s better this than him pretending to feel something he doesn’t, and wasting your time.

Hi op. I’m sorry to hear this but relationships do end sometimes. You’re young, you love your job. Stay with him until you find somewhere else to live? He can’t expect you to uproot your life suddenly. Decide whether you want to carry on living and working there and if so find your own place to live. If not, try and get your old job back or look for a new one.