Who's being unreasonable?

[fgsx100]

DH had tomorrow booked off as MIL was due to visit (now cancelled due to train strikes and weather).

On Weds I was extremely hormonal and also tired from being up woken up several times from 4am by DC. I was at DM's for the day, took the second half off to look after my DC. DM is providing childcare (child is 4) over holidays so I'm driving there and back (half an hour each way) on my work days. It's been an exhausting summer!

Anyway, back to Weds, I messaged DH saying I was really not coping mentally and please could he keep at least half a day off on Friday to look after DC (its his WFH day) and he replied along the lines of - of course, I'll take her for lunch etc.

Tonight I said so have you got all or just half of tomorrow off? And he goes "none of it, I have stuff to do at work". he seems to think he told me this - but he didn't. And he claims because its work he's not putting himself first, as I've said. who is right?!

I don’t think you were unreasonable to ask and assume that he’s agreed from his answer. Do you believe that he’s just being forgetful?
I don’t know your DH but mine can be distracted and forgetful if a lot is going on at work. I would be cross but then we both would try to find a compromise if possible. If not possible I would plan a very easy day for me and DC.

Couldn’t he do some of the pick ups/drop offs to spread the load a bit? If you’re working too why is that all on you?

Workloads should be shared although that includes working hours

What does this mean though?

"On Weds I was extremely hormonal"

If this is a way of saying PMT then you need to discuss that with your husband and work out how to deal with it together. If it is a way of saying I was feeling a bit knackered you might want to think about how you would react if he did the same

I think if he’s ‘at work’ if that’s at home or not, anything help is great and a bonus but IMO it’s probably a bit unreasonable to be expected.
Unless you asked him to take AL, he’s being paid to do a job, you can’t just sack it off cause you’re ‘being a bit hormonal’?
his boss will just think he’s unreliable? It sounds like, if you’re not coping you might need to have a sit down and plan a bit better for how to manage your childcare. Could he go down to 80% for example?
or is there anyone else that can help? IMO childcare should 100% be shared but if he’s working then his share needs to be done when he’s not working. Not in place of him working?