Too long a story to explain why I want to reduce contact with my parents and siblings, but stems from physical and emotional abuse as a child right through to realising I have spent 30 years trying to make them like me and getting very little back from them. In the process, they have become accustomed to me being endlessly available to them as a free counsellor, advisor, provider of 'good times' (dinners, parties etc), letter writer etc (when they need my legal help - my professional expertise).
I have reached a point where I am done prioritising people who don't prioritise me and who have historically treated me very cruelly, so I have gradually distanced myself, made myself less available etc. I thought they might talk/ bitch amongst themselves about it, but my mother has really gone for me, sending me messages about how horrible I am and about how I need to change this before it 'goes too far' - I don't even know what that means.
Is this a normal reaction to someone pulling back to preserve their own sanity and happiness? They have made me desperately unhappy and low in confidence over the years and I can't carry on like it, but this is also really unpleasant and making me doubt myself and whether they are right that I am ultimately just a 'nasty piece of work' - my mother's favourite description of me since I was 6.