Why bother texting?

[strangerthingshappen]

Been on three dates with a guy and he won't commit to a 4th date, but texts me daily, checking in, saying he's really into me, can't wait to see me etc, we speak every few days, but he won't tie down the next date. Always some excuse or waiting to see if he has to work.

Why does he keep texting etc if he doesn't want to meet up? Why waste both our time and energy??

I have my read receipts off and I am in a happy relationship of 3 years but I also had them off when I was dating and there was/is no reason behind it other than I sometimes read messages but can't/don't want to respond immediately. Whatsapp has made a lot of people feel that they have to be contactable and available 24 hours a day so disabling your blue ticks takes a bit of that pressure away for me, and likewise, I don't see someone has seen my message but not responded straight away and take it personally.

Not sure why he feels the need to take it so far

I think the thing to recognise it that, when someone does things and we don't understand them, it means we're not compatible. Their actions are simply not going to make sense to us, because we're too different.

So, don't try to work him out. He's not a puzzle. He's just nothing like you, to the extent that he seems weird to you. You might seem weird to him. Doesn't matter.

The least awkward way is the drama free way. No blame, no detail. Nothing he can argue against. 'Thanks for the dates, I don't feel a romantic spark, though. Best of luck. I'm sure we'll bump into each other at work.' And you're done. If he tries to talk further about it, shut him down politely.

2 weeks ago. Which I know isn't a long time, but there haven't been other things going on for him and we can see each other in the week - as an example, he's said what are you doing Friday? And I'll say I'm free and then I'll get 'I'll have to let you know' as if I've instigated the meet up!

And none of it is in keeping with the messages which are so urgent and now I think of it.. love bomb-y. Sigh.

why he feels the need to take it so far

It might be because he genuinely feels like this, though this would not explain why he doesn't want to meet up

Two weeks is a very long time at the start of a relationship esp with no date set for another meeting.

Alternatively, he might just be using a set of stock phrases that he things are well received, to keep you on a back burner and doesn't have the nous to spot the inconsistency.

Oh god, not this BS. Tell him it's not working for you and do not be hoovered back in