Anyone else ever knew that love wasn’t for them?

[UglyNameChange]

I don't know how, but even when I was little, I knew that no one loved me and that I wouldn't experience it.
I knew that dreams about love, relationship, partner and children are pointless because they are not for me.

And now that times has gone by and pretty old, I can see it was true.
But although I am sometimes sad about it, I have never been terribly disappointed, because I ”just knew”.

Isin’t it kind of crazy?

No, that's not crazy. If you grow up without love, then you grow up expecting people to let you down. It teaches you not to trust.

Once you are grown up, finding someone to love and share your life with when you don't trust people and you expect them to let you down, is pretty difficult.

Well I wouldn’t say I grew-up without love or had trust issues though…
I don’t know how I’d expect people to let me down when I didn’t expect anything from them in the first place.

I’ve come to the conclusion that romantic love is just an illusion and I no longer believe in it.

@SweetcornFritter fair enough. Delusions or naivety re. matters of the heart mean you can end up like Ryan Giggs’ girlfriend in Court this week (though she did also seem to play the WAG game herself up to a point).

Probably a few people meet their soulmates but not that many I suspect. And it doesn’t make you a better or worse person whether you do or don’t.

ps. to OP. I think there are many ways to live a fulfilling life. I’m quite solitary myself and pretty much love it these days. I do think I wasted a lot of time chasing after romantic love …. But that is another story ….

Are you talking just about 'romantic' love Op? Or all kinds?

The risk of deciding something isn't 'for me' early on, and sticking with it, is that you close your mind to opportunities. You've already written the script for your life and then you look for things that prove you were right, or things you expect to see. If you are happy with your choice, then that's great. If you aren't, it isn't too late to change your mind.

Hi @layladomino , I guess it’s mainly the romantic love.
As much as I loved about my dog, try to love nature, parents….that’s complicated, it’s just not enough.
Although, who knows how much that is society’s and media’s brainwashing that you have to have partner.

I never felt that I decided it’s not for me, it was like a ”knowing” inside of me, before I had words for it.

Thank you for you comment, I actually never had thought about it as a choice.

I get what you mean op. I always had a feeling that romantic love wouldn't be for me right from an early age really so I was surprised when my now exh wanted to be with me. However that turned out to be a toxic relationship with me desperately trying to keep it going and him being abusive. I'm now in my early 50's been divorced and single for 12 years now and have almost accepted that not all of us find romantic love. I have experienced lots of family love I have two dc and a biggish extended family but my gut feeling is that romantic love just isn't going to happen for me.

@MintJulia That's me but I've never been able to put it so succinctly into words.