Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

An alcoholic parent

3 replies

DragonDog · 11/08/2022 13:11

My father liked going to the pub when I was small. He was there more often than not. Most evenings after work when I was small. I remember him coming home drunk many times.

My parents separated. The drink was one issue but he wasn't nice to my mother. He cheated too.

All these years later, a mess unfolded.
He has another failed relationship between his mistress is not with him any more. The man ran from every responsibility that he ever had since I was small. He's in huge debt and he's has lost everything he worked for. His second property and his other land. It's all gone. He favoured the pub and alcohol and cigarettes. He had money for a long time. But none of that matters now. Its gone. His answer is to continue to get drunk. And smoke.

I am finding it hard to stomach right now. His life would have been so much more richer without alcohol or with limited alcohol. Maybe have a drink or two once or twice a week but know when to stop.

It's so hard.
We are estranged. The last time I saw him he was drunk and he got mad at me. He has to realise he's not nice when he is drunk and I don't want to be around that.

OP posts:
Sapphirensteel · 11/08/2022 13:59

I’m sorry. You can’t win with an alcoholic. Like you, I cannot see the attraction, getting drunk, waking up in their own vomit, spending every last penny on booze, losing jobs, people they supposedly love… All these years after leaving my alcoholic husband it is still a mystery to me. I’m sorry but your father is not going to acknowledge he’s not a nice person when drunk. Distancing yourself is the best thing to do.
You can contact Al Anon for support. There are probably online forums and areas on FB for families of alcoholics too.

DFOD · 11/08/2022 21:35

Don’t pity him. He is making active choices to indulge himself 24/7 at the cost of everyone around him.

Don’t concern yourself with him but reflect more on the unnecessary and deep damage that it did to you as a young child and still impacts you to this day. Focus on healing that.

pointythings · 11/08/2022 21:48

It's incredibly hard - my DDs have been through it. Please look up Nacoa - they are an organisation who support the children of alcoholics and you will find help and answers there. (I can't link, the MN algorithms don't like links that have org in them and end up deleting posts, which then have to be reinstated and it ends up a hot mess).

New posts on this thread. Refresh page