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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

He doesn’t care, does he?

4 replies

BetterDays2223 · 11/08/2022 11:02

Hi all,

I posted before about my ex partner who assaulted me and who I have a non-molestation against.

He doesn’t work, I have no idea where he is living (but assuming in close proximity as he was hanging about around my house a lot until I moved.)

He claimed to and appeared to really love his children.
It’s been 7 months since he has seen them.

Has not taken a child contact order, doesn’t have a legal team - this is unsurprising to me as he is very ‘anti establishment’ thinks courts are out to rip families apart.

I am in hospital now - my son has a long term health condition and he had a minor surgery - all done and ok, waiting for discharge.

It’s almost as if - he could only parent with my assistance. Now I’ve taken the steps I have and he cannot have anything to do with me, it’s like his kids don’t exist.

He has spent plenty of time and energy into telling anyone that will listen how desperately he misses them, wants to see them, we even bumped into him the other month - he waved at one child, ignored the other and kept walking.

Very confusing to me.
Any thoughts?

OP posts:
Quitelikeit · 11/08/2022 11:05

Sadly this is not uncommon. He probably would have stayed in contact with the children if it meant he could still be in touch with you. But as that is ruled out he really isn’t interested!

your children have had a lucky escape by the sounds of things!

despicable example of a father

Spohn · 11/08/2022 11:11

That’s great for your kids, having an abuser for a father is such a burden and fucks you up for life (I speak from experience), it’s fantastic that the scum is not accessing kids. Yet.

FlyingSaucerss · 11/08/2022 11:14

My ex would only see the kids if he could come to MY house to see them, since I stopped it he doesn’t see them (18 months now) so yes some men are like this if he assaulted you then would you really be happy with him having them anyway?

BetterDays2223 · 11/08/2022 11:36

Yes this was the exact same. Only wanted contact at mine.

It would be supervised contact, at a contact centre only.

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