Should I stay in a relationship for my baby?

[leilall]

I'm not in love with my partner. I have a 6 month old son and if I'm honest terrified of becoming a single parent. But I am not in love with his father. I feel like we are house mates raising a baby.
There is 0 intimacy since the day I found out I was pregnant. We have had sex once. The first 6 months of my pregnancy, I had hyperemesis gravidarum. And then when I got better he told me, he didn't want to have a sexual relationship. Because he couldn't get into it (because of the baby inside of me) And then the baby came along and the thought of being intimate with him, makes me feel uncomfortable now.

His a great father, but I'm not in love with him. I also have started speaking to him in a disrespectful manner. I don't mean it but I'm snappy and sometimes horrible. I feel awful within seconds after snapping.

How can I fix this? Is this fixable?

It's not fixable and you need to end it. The sooner the better. Your baby will not benefit growing up in a home with parents who have such a dysfunctional relationship.

Were things good between you/did you think you were in love with him before you had the baby?

If it's only been since the birth of your child that your feelings have changed towards him, it's possible that hormonal changes or PND could be affecting you? In which case it's worth seeking help and not making any drastic relationship decisions for a while.

You can choose to stop snapping at him. You wouldn’t do it someone else so stop doing it to him.

Have you spoken to him about the sex issue? Properly, calmly, honestly, listened to what he says and told him your side?

Only you know if it's fixable. Babies are trying. It could just be that the baby has thrown a grenade into your relationship but you may be able to get it back on track.

It depends if it could all be down to the stress of the baby. My partner and I are the same, but honestly I think it's because we don't have any time together to build intimacy. The ages of our children and the lack of family childcare means that we've had approx three child-free days (ending at 5pm) in 2.5 years. It isn't enough and our relationship has suffered. For ages I toyed with the idea of ending it because I don't want a love-less relationship. But I can't see myself being able to build what I have with anyone else.

I think the sexual spark waning after having a baby is completely normal for many people and being snappy with each other is too. But if you really don’t love each other, as in you don’t have fun together, don’t laugh, don’t share the same values, don’t see a future together, that’s different. Relationships change a lot when you have a baby. It’s not as sexy and exciting as before. But if you no longer care for and respect each other, that’s something else. How long were you together before you got pregnant?

Your hormones are probably still settling down again, even after 6 months. It might be worth talking to your health visitor about how you feel, because I think it is fairly common to go right off sex for some time after having a baby.