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Relationships

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I am married, but I have a crush ..?

11 replies

Sohee · 10/08/2022 20:12

Okay, this is going to be a long one, but I need to get this off my chest. Thank you people of the internet. Anyway, I met my husband in 2012. A mutual friend set us up. I thought he looked like a Greek god. He thought I was just as stunning. We hit it off, dated for 4 years, also we were each others "first". We had great times together, always doing new things, always excited to see each other. We got engaged in 2016 and got married in 2017. Now, my husband is an avid gamer. I'm not. At all. He had an obsession. Many nights, I would lay in bed while he would be playing games online until early hours of the morning. Sex life started dwindling. Fast forward to 2019, we decided to go work overseas. I thought it would be a great opportunity for us to bond since we would be in a strange country. Lol. The gaming got more and more until intimacy and sex stopped all together. Many fights about the game playing ensued, I was depressed. I was struggling in the strange country and my husband was glued to his games. I had too many expectations. Everything exploded one night. After I questioned why he didn't want to have sex with me, he told me he wasn't interested in me that way anymore and he was content with our lives as is. That really hurt. I told him I wanted to go home to our country and he said he didn't want to leave. Anyway I am home now, healing and he is still overseas, working. I had a lot of anger and resentment towards him. It became an outta sight, outta mind kinda thing. Now, there's this guy. He was always at this place I went to in the past with my parents. Now being back, I've seen him again. And he looks good. My dad remarked that this guy couldn't take his eyes off me. And from there, I notice it all the time. When he says hello to me, he looks straight into my eyes and gives such a genuine smile. I feel shy when he looks at me. Gosh, he's actually everything I wanted in a man. His looks and I found out we have more common than I do with my husband. My dad told me it's a pity that I'm married because my dad is fond of him. My parents know him and his parents well. Um .... okay. This guy is interested in me. I always catch him looking at me and he goes out of his way to make small talk. And then one day, he gave me a hug and my heart was racing. I know it's wrong. I know I'm married. He knows it too. It seems he doesnt care?? Or he's confident because my husband isn't here maybe I don't know. One time, my dad and I were speaking to him. My dad was speaking and asking him things, but he kept glancing at me and speaking to me as if I had asked him something. My dad noticed that too. My hands are clammy when I speak to him. I can't get him out of my head. When I video call my husband, I don't feel as excited. It's like I'm talking to my brother. Sometimes I don't want my husband to return. Because this is exciting. Why should I be unhappy?? Why should I be in a loveless and sexless marriage????????? This guy makes me feel amazing. Even now I'm thinking about him. I fantasize about this guy. I know I'm foolish, but it's going to be hard to ignore and forget about him. I feel like I've emotionally checked out of my marriage. If my husband was my boyfriend again, I would have dumped him ages ago. I haven't had sex in 2 years. I'm over it!!!

OP posts:
Sheepreallylikerichteabiscuits · 10/08/2022 20:22

If you want to leave your husband because you no longer love him then just leave him, that's okay, you don't need any other reason.

But don't have an affair. That ways just leads to messing around with multiple peoples lives.

Do your husband the courtesy of divorcing him, then decide whether you are ready to date again.

MrPakora · 10/08/2022 20:37

Why don't you tell your husband that it's over and then date the crush and see how it goes?

Watchkeys · 11/08/2022 01:09

Why should I be in a loveless and sexless marriage

Who do you think makes the rules about what you should do?

Chilesstanton · 11/08/2022 01:32

This reads like bad YA fiction

Buythebag40 · 11/08/2022 01:37

If this is true - and I have my suspicions- I really don’t understand the big issue here.

Newsflash: your marriage is dead in the water. Your husband has basically told you he’s not interested in you anymore and your livid in different countries.

Get a divorce and then you’ll be free to shag your dream fella won’t you?

Buythebag40 · 11/08/2022 01:38

*you’re living

PeacefulPottering · 11/08/2022 02:17

Where is @ Any Fucker when needed x

Dery · 11/08/2022 02:52

As PP have said - your marriage is completely over. There’s no coming back from where you and your H have got to and indeed why would you bother when it’s so clearly over? What’s stopping you getting a divorce?

Dery · 11/08/2022 02:55

And I’m not saying get divorced because of this new guy - you have no idea what a relationship with him would be like. Get divorced because your marriage is over and you and your husband need to be free of obligations to each other.

Shoxfordian · 11/08/2022 06:09

Divorce your husband then see about dating

MiddleParking · 11/08/2022 06:15

Can’t get past the weirdness of your dad being a keen proponent of your extramarital crush. Creepy.

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