Long story here, I work and live very close by to my in laws, not just parents but brother in laws and their partners. Me and husband have a 1 year old daughter and are expecting number 2. I am 10 weeks pregnant. Only both sets of parents and one of my husbands brother and his girlfriend are aware of pregnancy number 2 (not even my brothers know) due to us all working together and me being unwell in first trimester. The reason the 2nd brother and his partner don't know is because they are travelling around Europe so we haven't seen them to tell them. I wanted to tell them in person due to covid with number 1 this option was taken away from us last time.
My mother in law made it clear that she feels no one should know about our pregnancy until after we have told the second brother and should video call them to tell them, she didn't feel like any other family should know before him (I feel it was because she didn't want to 'accidentally' slip up and tell him). I was disappointed because I wanted to tell them in person when I would only be around 16 weeks. I got my head around the idea and decided we will videocall them after the 12 week scan. Only this weekend my mother in law has returned from a weekend away to tell me that she has told my brothers auntie because she was offering lifts for a future wedding (not until October). So instead of saying "thank you that would be great" and cancelling on her once we announced our news or "we have taxis booked" she thought she would take it upon herself to tell her our news instead (as I would be doing lifts). I'm upset about it and I told my mother in law as much. Her response? You told your friends so you've made it obvious you don't care who knows. I have told my friend who's hen do I am going on in a weeks time (I will be 11 weeks pregnant) so obviously cannot have a drink and will likely not be my 'normal fun self' as I am exhausted and unwell. I've also told my mum friend, who is my only mum friend for support because there are no other children on my husbands side of the family. My mother in law called me childish. I am annoyed and really frustrated with her, is there an explanation for her defensive attitude? I walked away from our conversation and cried (she knows I'm a crier). I don't know how to resolve the issue, she's extremely opinionated and every other time I've disagreed with her I've let is slide because I don't do well with confrontation but this was not her news to share. I haven't even told my own family and she made me feel like I couldn't tell my family until her family knew? Please can someone offer some support or advise on what to do to move past this? I work with her so can't avoid her forever but I am very upset and furious with her bad attitude. I don't think talking to her will help at this point, she is very much stuck in her ways.