How much contact should I expect? Am I expecting too much?

[Pumpkinspices]

I got chatting to someone recently on an OLD site. We really clicked and they asked for my number within 6 hours.

Texts were coming think and fast and we discovered lots about eachother, have loads in common, want them same things.

They’re currently signed off work and tend to be home a lot so have been able to text a lot, into the early hours.

After about 4 days they disappeared for 24 hours and then text and apologized to say the used to night shifts and their sleep pattern is out of wack, which I fully understand.

I am feeling frustrated by the since sporadic contact. They can go 24 hours without messaging, then will send messages for a few hours and then disappear again for 24 hours or so. This is despite their dating profile and messenger showing them as actively online. I feel it would be rude to text them when my previous message is still showing as unread, so will always wait for them to message me when they want to so as not to pressure them.

I keep wondering what on earth they’re doing and what’s changed, especially as they were so keen before. 😢

Sounds too much like hard work. It's not supposed to be like this in the beginning.

Sounds to me like you're one of many that they're in contact with.

Probably talking to other people as well as you I'm afraid.

Maybe married or cohabiting and can only message when wife or gf isn't there?

Maybe married or cohabiting and can only message when wife or gf isn't there?

This

You've never even met this person? WAAAAAY too much over thinking and effort for someone you've never even met. But a few thoughts nonetheless:

1. Perhaps your messages are left unread because they know if they respond, you will, and therefore conversations never end naturally
2. Perhaps they are busy/tired/working/ill and don't want to be talking to you all the time
3. Perhaps they are talking-to lots of people and can only concentrate on one person at a time.
4. Perhaps they are married/in a relationship/ not who they say they are.
5. Perhaps they're waiting for you to suggest a meet up (lots of effort to keep sex secret in your message but there are traditional gender roles that, rightly or wrongly, can have an impact here).
6. Perhaps they are waiting for you to be the one to initiate a new/fresh conversation.

If he has all this time on his hands he will definitely be chatting to others. You will be one of many. You need to sort a date out so you can meet up. Otherwise all this texting is completely pointless.

We talked about a meet up and they we’re very keen. They were going to come back to me with some dates.