TW (pregnancy loss related) Does this mean the problem was me

[Este67]

I had a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks in June after previously seeing a healthy foetus and heartbeat at 7 weeks scan. I was able to retain some of the pregnancy tissue during the miscarriage and my EPU told me to bring it in for testing. I have just been told that the testing did not show any abnormalities or chromosome issues. Does this essentially mean that the problem was me/my body? If so, does anyone know where I would start with figuring out what's wrong? I've had my Vitamin D and thyroid checked - all fine. A baseline scan showed slightly thickened endometrium due to the miscarriage but all looked otherwise normal. I would really appreciate any help/advice anyone might have to offer as my hospital/GP seem to be happy to class it as "one of those things" but I can't shake the feeling it could have been prevented.

It couldn’t have been prevented and really is just one of those things. Not every mc is due to genetic abnormalities. Sometimes they just aren’t viable. I had a missed mc very similar to yours. I was pregnant with my now 4 year old 6 weeks later. Have you had someone you can talk to about this? I know when I had mine there was a midwife in the EPU who specialised in bereavement.

Hi @mindutopia Thank you for your reply. I was supposed to have 6 sessions with a counsellor but she has only called me twice and missed the last few sessions. I have complained to the hospital but I'm not expecting anything to come of it.

It's just very difficult to accept that I can have a healthy baby, measuring a few days ahead, strong heartbeat, be told by the doctor and nurses, "congratulations, you're one of the lucky ones" and then a week later its all over. I'm sure there is something wrong with me or I did something. If it was chromosomally normal and it had a heartbeat, why would it just stop?

I'm sorry to read about your miscarriage.

Having been through six miscarriages with, in the final analysis, very little rhyme or reason to them (interspersed with live births - I have three children - so it was impossible to say any or all of them were down to the issues that were eventually discovered with me), I can say that, sadly, all sorts of things - by far not all of which can be tested for - can go wrong. at this early, precarious stage. A mc after seeing a heartbeat can (sometimes) be indicative of a clotting problem, but I don't think you are likely to get investigations if this is your first one - you could perhaps go private, but even there I wonder whether they miht advise against testing at this stage. I found the causes of mine frustratingly elusive - the pattern was strongly suggestive of a balanced tanslocation, but our karyotypes proved normal, and while I do have two genetic clotting tendencies, I also had two live births before they were discovered and therefore without heparin, and two mcs on heparin. As frustrating and possibly painful as that is, 'one of those things' is currently, in the absence of other mcs, the most likely explanation. On the positive side, your risk of another is not elevated at this stage (IIRC - it's been a while). I know it sounds harsh to effectively be left for it to happen again; the likelihood is, though, that it won't.

I think the Miscarriage Association used to have a helpline - maybe this is something you could talk through with them?

Sadly it is just one of those things. Some people never find out why.

It's great your hospital was able to offer any counselling, even if you only got 2. I had a stillbirth and wasn't offered any.

As there was no chromosomal issues, hopefully it shouldn't be an issue for future pregnancies.

It’s quite unusual for significant findings to come from post-MC testing. The baby’s body is still developing and any number of things could have gone wrong that didn’t have an underlying chromosomal cause or relate to a visible abnormality. I recently had a loss (also stopped growing at 8 weeks) and had I been scanned the week before I would have seen exactly the same thing as you.

I understand the need to take control and ‘fix’ the problem and in that vein I’ve found it helpful to look at books about egg quality and reproductive health with the aim of ensuring my eggs are as high quality as possible and my body is as receptive as possible to an embryo. The books are a bit detailed and obsessive but my main takeaways have been to supplement with magnesium and zinc and introduce more variety and more ‘good’ fats into my diet.

@emma1103 I'm so sorry to hear you weren't offered any counselling, that's awful you're quite right that I was fortunate to receive any support, I hope you were/are able to find comfort from your family/friends x

@YouSoundLovely Thank you for your reply. You've actually given me more to go on then any doctor has so far so I appreciate it x

@SpicePearl Thank you for that. I had been taking supplements recommended in "It starts with the egg" but I hadn't heard of magnesium and zinc being helpful so I'll look into that x

Hi, sorry for your loss.

Most frequently MC are due to chromosomal issues so I'd investigate.

You could see a private doctor to look into immunological issues you may have. Some diseases are hard to find but a Reproductive Immunologist may help.

If this is your first miscarriage then it’s likely just ‘one of those things’ I’m afraid. They are so common, I appreciate it doesn’t make it any less painful though. It is very unusual to be offered any testing after just one miscarriage, I’d imagine because in the vast majority of cases no identifiable cause can be found.

I had a miscarriage at almost 12 weeks pregnant in 2019, after two scans showed a perfectly healthy baby. I was not offered nor did I ask for any testing, and I went on to have a healthy pregnancy and baby not long after. I had a healthy baby in 2017 with no issues also, so sometimes it just happens and we don’t know why. I wouldn’t get too caught up in the why personally, multiple pregnancy loss is rare so the odds are in your favour.

@MonicaGellerHyphenBing love your username!

It's natural to blame yourself but it's nothing you did, it's just horrible bad luck. I recommend The Worst Girl Gang Ever on Facebook and Instagram.

@Cakecakecheese thanks, I've just followed on FB.