I can’t get over a man who left me before dc was even born. It’s two years later! We were only together two years but I fell for him and truly believed he wanted a family etc he was always talking about family values etc and how much they mattered. When I look back I can see that he wasn’t ever particularly wonderful to me, not that he was bad towards me but he just had little capacity to fit me in and be open to build a life. He was quite emotionally immature despite being in his forties. When I was pregnant I was worried as it wasn’t planned. Talked about termination and decided to carry on and in his words it ‘would be wonderful.’ I became less able to deal with his emotional distance though as I suppose I needed him more in pregnancy. This seemed to cause him huge stress snd we argued a lot - he’d forget scans or he’d be offhand with me if I asked for some foods to be cut out of a casserole because it wasn’t recommended for pregnancy - basically I was making demands I suppose maybe irrationally and he didn’t cope with it, which made me upset and feel unsupported. When he left me he completely cut me off. I had the baby and he didn’t respond when I sent a photo. Didn’t discuss maintenance. I have therapy and it really helps but it’s two years later snd I still feel in shock about it sometimes, I will wake in the night thoughts racing and feeling terrible for being such a demanding person in pregnancy. I have come to terms with him not in mine or DC’s life but it still sometimes perplexes me…a man who apparently really wanted a child, now has a child and he’s never met them. I feel like his hatred towards me and the demands I was making ultimately made him not want to be a father.
i know it’s ridiculous so much time later to feel this way but I do. I often just feel sad I got involved with him at all as it’s caused me so much distress.Will this ever get better? I just feel more used to the situation these days rather than ok if that makes sense.