LDR

[Richardbc]

I have been on a couple of dates with somone, I live in Stoke and she lives in Birmingham. Both dates we have met half way and they have been good, in that the conversation flows and there has been laughter.

She has 3 young children so is commited to Birmingham . I don;t have any kids. I am unsure at this stage if its going to progress from my side the messages have flowed between dates and we are meeting up again on Friday closer to her.

Thins is this has bought home to me its an hour away and if we did get togther I am not sure if it will work due to the travel and the cost of doing this. Her life is in Brum with her kids so I would be doing more travel, the kids dad is not involved so no weeks off etc.

I dont want to hurt her if we get to involved, but the distance is a factor for me.

ALso I am not sure if i see it is long term I enjoy chatting to her and the texts, but can I see it as longer term I am not sure. If she was local in stoke I would say lets go on a few more dates and see what happens, but given the distance I am not sure.

Part of me wants to see what happens, but we have busy lives and I am not sure about the travel.

Have anyone had experience of LDR? in the early stages and got over it?

I'm currently in a LDR 3 hrs away. It's hard but can be done if you are both on the same page. It can get expensive and I would only do it if there is a end plan in sight. Have you asked her what she thought about the distance?

I would take it one date at a time rather than projecting into the future.

All relationships end in tears one way or another.

It’s an hour away. That’s a tube journey across London. I really wouldn’t be stressing about the distance at this stage. Many people (me included) commute farther than that for work.

When I met my now Dh, we were living abroad in the same city for 6 months, but our home countries were an 11 hour flight from each other. We managed it just fine. We’ve been married (and living in the same place) for 12 years now.

An hour is not a LDR. DH and I lived on different continents when we dated!

If you don't know, honestly you're probably just not that into him.

An hour away isn't that far to be honest. If you're questioning that, then she isn't the right one for you. There's not enough of a connection there. If there was you'd be saying well, an hour's not that far, and I really like her so let's definitely go on a few more dates. But you're questioning it already.
I'm seeing someone 2 hours away and I'd probably have thought that was too far but I've really clicked with this person and it's working.

An hour, that’s a daily commute to work, not a long distance relationship

Eh ? Brum is just a short drive down the M6 from Stoke, it’s hardly long distance, ..
but is clearly not right for you if are asking about this

Good advice so far - maybe you're just not feeling 'it' ?
Has she said anything to you about how far apart you live ? (I'm a Brummie, now live near Burton - I get that Stoke is a bit of a trek).