Did you tell your Ex about new relationship or not?

[ArtixLynx]

Just curious.

My ExH was abusive, his behaviour around boundaries as i've maintained some kind of loose frienship due to kids as i think its better for them for us to still 'get on' (tbh i wish i could just pretend he doesn't exist) isn't great... he is still highly inappropriate towards me/makes sexual jokes (💀) and has been known to get stalkery (yeah, real catch right, ugh)

We still aren't divorced after 6yrs seperated, but only because we can't afford it atm, but i'm just starting a new relationship with someone amazing.

I don't really want to tell my ex, and i'm keeping it off social media because he snoops.. i guess what i'm wondering is if i ought to tell him about new guy, or just take the view its none of his fucking business, and if he 'finds out' then i dont owe him anything in telling him.

I have no intention of new guy being involved with the kids in any kind of step parent capacity.. they're older teens and ex is still involved in their lives.. this new relationship is for me and currently long distance, so only in his company the weekends ex has contact.

The controlling/abusive nature of his behaviour around me has me tying myself in knots about this.. so sorry if its a bit disjointed.

Why would you? Does he tell you about his relationships?

Why do you have him on social media block the fukker he has no rights to your life now.

everything in email about the kids and grey rock him. If he starts stalking you phone the police, any abuse phone the police.

oh and about a new relationship don’t tell him it’s none of his business same in reverse as I’ll bet he doesn’t tell you.

Exactly as above, he has no right to know anything the only reason you have to contact him would be about kids. And luckily they're older. Definitely do not tell him

Nah. Don't tell him. No need.

I'd only tell him if the kids were going to be around him (as I'd expect the same back).

@Dullardmullard i have him blocked everywhere i can, but there are sites where the functionality doesn't allow me to do anything more than stop him being in my dms, and i refuse to be pushed off the platforms just because he can't leave me the hell alone on there.

Don't tell him as it's absolutely none of his business. If he finds out then so
what ? Assuming the kids are old enough let them manage their relationships with him and you can just go 'no contact'.

I didnt. I met someone last year and still dont know if my ex knows. It does not affect his life so I see no value in sitting him down and telling him. If he asked I would but that would be it.

It's only his business if your new partner meets any kids you have. Also, delete him off your social media and only communicate with him when it's necessary for arrangements with the kids. I speak from bitter experience.

You can change your privacy settings so he can’t see your SM

It never even occurred to me to inform my ex of a new relationship.

And even then it still isn't his business. Abusive people don’t get to know jack shit about your life.

Do you tell him what time you get up? Do you tell him what you have for dinner? Do you tell him when you go out? Do you tell him when you're going shopping? Do you think he has a right to know any of that?

Why is this any different?

I definitely wouldn't tell him but I also think you need to prioritise getting divorced. At the moment by being married to him he still has the ability to cause you major stress and is also your legal next of kin ie can be involved in hospital treatment for you if you become incapacitated, can inherit from you etc. I wouldn't want my ex to have that much power and say over my life so would concentrate on getting divorced asap.

It is never the right time for divorce

Get the divorce started, why wait