Guy initiated another date, then disappeared again!

[peahead23]

More of a rant really, why men can be so strange sometimes.

I went on two dates with a guy last May. He was always a bit crap at replying but lovely in person. Anyway he sent the whole text of how he had a nice time but didn’t really feel a spark. Fair enough, I wasn’t overly invested and went about with my life.

Fast forward 14 months and he drunk replies to one of my stories. Says we should go for a drink sometime. I agree because I didn’t think it’d actually happen, but he texted the next day with plans.

He took me to a wine bar on Thursday and I had a nice time. Chat was flowing again, and I ended up back at his. Ended up staying at his, he was cuddly in the morning and even offered I could stay at his while he popped out for a workout until he was back (but nah definitely not lol) so I left.

He texted Friday morning saying he had a great time and to enjoy my day. I said me too and then later sent a picture of my evening plans.

Absolute zero since then, completely ignored. 😂

I mean, I wasn’t exactly invested and I’m not going to text again to preserve my own self respect lol. But i just don’t see why he bothered coming back lol! Probably got what he wanted but yeah.

Men!…

@Cherchezlaspice

So I’m afraid that most of that response has nothing to do with me or what I’ve asked

Yes, that's because you were questioning my response to someone else's point

Block and delete isn't the only way forward, as was suggested by PPs. It's also perfectly acceptable to just 'have boundaries' without technological help. That's the only point I was making. It's got nothing to do with misogyny and women 'having to be nice', as suggested by a PP. It's to do with everybody having the right to choose where to put their own boundaries, and not feeling that it's prescribed for them.

I didn't block and delete, because I'd rather get a message than have the insistent person turn up at my house. A message can be responded to, ultimately, with 'Contact me again and I'll speak to the Police', which is much easier and safer for me than saying it to the person's face. It keeps the communication stored in case I need it for future reference. Block and delete someone who might be interested in bothering you, and the only option you leave them is to see you in person.

@Watchkeys I actually initially asked you the question before that person posted. You just didn’t respond to me. When you responded to them, I asked again.

I don’t really get why you’re still arguing against it being based in misogyny. I repeat, I never said that. I also never stated that anyone should or shouldn’t do anything with regards to where personal boundaries, I asked for the reasoning behind doing (or not doing) something. Which seems to have irked you, for some reason. As you’re responding to rather a lot of things I haven’t said.

Some man that OP has been on a couple of dates with, who is clearly not interested, is not highly unlikely to turn up at her house. He probably doesn’t even know where she lives. And this exchange began because you told her there was no need to block and delete. So, in this specific instance, why?

And, no, seeing you in person is not the only option you leave when you block and delete someone who might be interested in bothering you. The vast majority of irritants don’t have (and honestly have no interest in) that option and you will never see or hear from them again.

@Cherchezlaspice

Not irked. We seem to be at cross purposes. Let me make it clear: I wasn't responding to you.

Let's leave it there.

Sorry for the derail, , OP.

@Watchkeys I asked you a direct question and you tagged me in your responses three times, and addressed what I was saying (while also addressing lots of things I hadn’t said) but you weren’t responding to me? That’s not clear, no.

We’re not derailing. OP hasn’t been back and isn’t coming back. However, it’s pretty clear that you don’t want to have this conversation, so I’ll leave it.

I agree no need to block him.

I sometimes feel mumsnet is full of threads if women acting like complete doormats then asking why they are treated as a doormat.

This happened to you because the other 99 women whose social media stories he clicked on that night didn't reply.

Responsibility starts with you.

Thread from August. How odd to resurrect it 🤔

You hit that nail right in the head; he got what he wanted & now he’s not interested; until he’s feeling like he needs another bunk up then he’ll call you again; be sure to tell him to fuck off though; he was probably hoping you’d hang around so he could have another go after his gym session good on you for leaving 😂😂